Ab initio ad hominem

Ab initio ad hominem at Westport Town Council


DE FACTO
Liamy MacNally

A sultry Latin beauty made an unexpected appearance at last Thursday’s monthly meeting of Westport Town Council. The triumphal entry of Ultra Vires was greeted with a hushed silence by councillors, officials, public and press. She was summoned by the Town Manager in his quest to allay fears over names on the Draft Register. Peter Hynes is known to be fond of Latin beauties and has often called on a well-known friend of Ultra Vires, the equally stunning Sub Judice. Both are great at their jobs and their appearance is usually treated with profound respect and awe. They have class and style along with a Covie’s lineage.      
The meeting was attempting to deal with Minutes and Matters Arising – Item 1!  Cllr Peter Flynn was all buoyed up from the recent Fine Gael county selection convention that will see him spanner the works in the forthcoming local election. He was like a greyhound bursting from the traps after a presentation by the ESB (€26 million line upgrade and 110kv station for Westport). The ESB boys had promised the Cathaoirleach, Cllr Martin Keane, that they would give him the old ESB poles for his Annual Fuel Appeal. “Don’t mind the creosote. It will burn!” exclaimed an excited Cathaoirleach.
Cllr Flynn wanted the minutes corrected to include his entire proposal at the previous meeting. The minutes state: “That the Town Clerk write (sic) to the County Register in relation to concerns expressed by members.” Not enough, cried Cllr Flynn, it should also have stated that the Manager was to write to commercial property owners whose addresses were being used as ‘residential’ addresses by names on the Draft Register. Cllr Flynn cited the law governing voting rights and stated that only people who were ordinarily resident in a dwelling can be registered. He also said commercial property owners might be violating planning legislation by having ‘residents’.
It was then the turn of the Fianna Fáil chorus. All three councillors were perfectly in harmony and singing from the same hymn sheet. Soprano, tenor and bass all intoned their recollection that the Manager would write to the County Registrar.  Cllr Dave Keating’s (SF) ‘mature’ recollection was the same but that the motion also included the addresses of commercial premises with residents who were registered to vote. Cllr Mulroy (FF) responded that the County Registrar had responded by stating if anyone had any issues they should contact him directly. Case closed, he said! Cllr Flynn ran the risk of becoming the male equivalent of a soprano when he suggested that the Fianna Fáilers had been rehearsing the same line, singing in unison! ‘Check the current Register,’ Cllr Mulroy (FF) dared anyone.   
Rí Rá agus Ruaille Buaille made a brief appearance before the Cathaoirleach called the meeting to order to allow the Manager to speak. Points of order erupted – are the minutes adopted? Are they changed? Then a voice erupted from the Manager’s throne. Any change to the minutes could only be done by those present on the night of the actual (previous) meeting. That scuppered any chance of amendments because Cllrs Myles Staunton (FG) and Keith Martin (Lab) had not been present. The Manager, speaking ex-cathedra, informed the chamber the making of the Register was a Mayo County Council gig. There were 150 appeals for the Draft Register in the ‘revision courts’ sitting on December 9 last. Councillors were informed but only Cllr Margaret Adams attended, as she had done on previous occasions, as a seasoned councillor.
Final publication of the Register is due in February. Subsequent appeals will be heard and changes added to the next register, due in November.  Westport Town Council has no function in the register and it was then he called in Ultra Vires.
She took centre stage and, touching a high C, chanted, ‘The Register is beyond the powers of this council.’ Cllr Flynn started texting Intra Vires but got no reply! Distant disturbing memories of sudden appearances in the chamber by Sub Judice sprang to the minds of many. The Manager stated that he had no intention of writing to about 300 commercial business owners seeking details of any ‘residents’. Citing the lovely Ultra Vires was one reason. The cost, in these recessionary times, was another. 
At no point was the Council asked to write to ALL businesses, reeled Cllr Keating (SF) as he accused Ultra Vires of making an ass of the law. She pouted! Cllr Flynn proposed his motion (write to circa 18 business owners regarding ‘residents’) for this sitting. Another dose of verbal combustion ensued during which the motion was consumed by Non Sequitur! Ultra Vires has that kind of power! Meanwhile, De Jure and De Facto were battling in the hallway over Quod Erat Demonstrandum.