MENTAL HEALTH: Why busy is not better

In a world where we all lead such different lives, it seems that a lot of us have something in common. We’re busy.
Pings from emails, WhatsApp and Teams are just some of the things that are part and parcel of our daily environment, and it can be a lot to handle. Historically, it was the wealthiest people who prioritised their leisure time. Now in a quest to become wealthy (and not just in terms of financial wealth), it would seem that it pays to be busy.
It has nearly become normal to wear busyness as a badge of honour. It’s almost become competitive. Have you ever heard yourself assure someone that really everything is okay, because you’re ‘good busy’. And as long as you stay in this section of ‘good busy’, you’re doing alright. But are you?
Everywhere we look our attention is being chased and hard fought for. It’s largely impossible to dodge these mind-grabbing cues unless we have extreme discipline. It would be simple if it was just a case of choosing to avoid these demands, to not give them a moment of our time – but we have to ask ourselves, is that realistic? And is it sustainable?

Embrace blank spaces
Some of the things that can help if you are looking to make a long and lasting change is to focus on living in the moment as much as you can, and do your best to switch off from work outside of hours. Easier said than done maybe, but hopefully possible in even some small way.
If you live by your calendar, don’t be afraid to leave some spaces blank. By not stacking to-dos and appointments back to back, time can be freed up, and you can get a chance to be idle, even for a few short minutes. And taking these few short minutes to breathe will make such a difference.
Don’t give your calendar all of the power. Because if you do, your brain is getting no chance to rest. Latest research indicates that multitasking is a myth, so don’t allow this practice to slow you down unnecessarily. (The human brain is actually incapable of attending to more than one cognitive task at a time. Instead, it rapidly switches back and forth among competing tasks, which in fact lowers productivity.)
Well like anything, you need to look at where this busy focus is coming from. Busyness is often linked to progress and success. If you’re in a new role, you may wish to present as a hardworking, diligent employee who won’t stop until the job is done. However, this performative busyness does not always have the desired effect. Some employers might think that if it takes that much hard work and time to complete something, maybe you’re not as efficient as they’d wish. (This is a difficult dichotomy to untangle, though, as your behaviour is tied to your identity and how you want others to perceive you.)

You have a choice
When did never having a spare minute become something to be proud or nearly boastful of? As fellow life coach Tara Rafter (thenavigationcoach.com) says, we are human beings, not human doings.
The most fundamental thing to remember, however, is that time being busy is a often choice you make. It’s worth asking yourself: On what are you basing this choice to be constantly busy? Perhaps it offers a welcome distraction to something else you are trying to navigate. Perhaps it’s so you don’t come across as lazy to peers, coworkers or family. Maybe being busy is all you have known in the past few years, and you find it hard to relax.
If any of these are true, begin to get curious. Where are these reasons coming from? And what would you be doing if you didn’t have this extreme label of busyness tied to you?
If you are working to better yourself this year, in whatever way that looks for you, I would advise exercising some caution about the load that ‘bettering yourself’ could add to your day. The last thing you want is for that process to lead to more busyness, because unfortunately it just won’t pay off.

Sadhbh Dunne is a qualified life coach based in Westport. She is the founder of Ember Coaching (embercoaching.ie) and can be reached at sadhbh@embercoaching.ie.