Is there anything more irritating than forgetting to bring your glasses to the Mayo game, when you’re long-sighted in one eye and short-sighted in the other? Why yes, there is. It’s having to sit beside someone who forgot to bring their glasses to a game, and put up with them asking every 30 seconds: “Who’s that?” “Who took that shot?” “What number is that?”

To my faithful matchday companions, I can only apologise. In a futile act of wild optimism that couldn’t have contrasted more with my pre-match mood, I did bring my prescription sunglasses. To say I gave us little hope would be generous. But I hadn’t bargained on Tyrone putting in quite so dreadful a performance. 

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Rarely, though, has a game so utterly forgettable offered so much food for thought. No matter how poor the performance or prospects, I don’t think I will ever not enjoy these cold winter league days. Even in anger and disappointment there is entertainment.

Every day in Castlebar offers new puzzles. Why are paying supporters prohibited from watching the game from behind either goal? Whose music tastes are so eclectic that they add Jessie Ware, the Stone Roses and Sam Fender to the same playlist? (This is emphatically not a complaint.)

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Why did Enda Hession spend half the game holding the ball over his head? Where did Barry Cassidy lose his rulebook? And why were patrons warned that if they left the ground at half time, they’d have to pay again to re-enter? At four apiece approaching half-time, one of ours declared, not unfairly: “They’d have to be f**kin’ payin’ me to come back in for this!”

Three-up

It was interesting to see Mayo manager Kevin McStay attempting to reassure supporters in the match-day programme that players and management were, in fact, well briefed on all aspects of the rules. (It didn’t prevent us being penalised again, twice, for breaching the three-up rule, and getting away with it twice more.)

Reasonably, he called for final rule decisions to be communicated to teams well in advance of championship, and indeed, his post-match comment; “We’ll be ready for the rules when we have to be,” suggests that Mayo’s focus remains firmly elsewhere.

He even said as much; while appealing for patience, McStay stated that teams approach the NFL with different objectives, one of Mayo’s this season being to strengthen the panel. With the high attrition rate, he has little choice, but it is nevertheless welcome to see the likes of O’Donoghue (Eoin), Conor Reid and Davitt Neary gain solid game time.

Kevin Quinn might even one day be allowed off the bench. Cian McHale got his first start, but was unsentimentally whipped off at half time, which felt harsh given the nature of the game. Two others, at least, arguably should have gone before him. He and his left foot will have much better days. 

Fiction

Incidentally, McStay’s piece was just about the only thing that made the programme worth buying, given the number of changes to both match-day squads. At €4 a pop, you’d be better off putting your money towards a Mills & Boon novel. At least you’d know from the outset they are fiction, and you’ll usually find a happy ending somewhere. (Sorry).

What were the positives? Well, it didn’t rain. We didn’t concede goals. Jordan returned, led out, and aggression levels rose a welcome notch. Aidan returned too, with an impressive tan, to a roof-lifting roar rivalling the one his fellow colossus received above in Ballybofey.

Frank Irwin, who you feel has much more to give, got three on the board. Davitt Neary continues to be audacious, and mercifully, his tendency to drop the shoulder, take on his man and pull the trigger has not yet been coached out of him (but there is still plenty of time). Eoin O’Donoghue looked sure and steady at the back, and defensively we felt stronger, albeit against a chronically malfunctioning attack. Mattie made a few lovely catches. We finished strong. And we got the win.

Painfully conservative

Winning might not be management’s priority, which is fair enough, but concerns remain. Chances are, most new rules will remain in place, and three games in, we show little evidence of a kickout strategy. Our restarts are chaotic. The role of goalkeepers is in laser-sharp focus presently, but there is little point in a custodian spending so much time in the opposition half unless it delivers scores (a la Niall Morgan).

In Friday’s Irish Times, Malachy Clerkin argued that allowing goalkeepers “the run of the place” basically constitutes gerrymandering the pitch by unfairly allowing the attacking team an automatic overload. Trust Mayo not to capitalise on this – but perhaps Kevin feels we won’t have to worry about it come April. 

Up front, our attacking play remains painfully conservative and borders on offensive to watch. Kick-passing into the available three forwards - as deployed elsewhere to good effect - appears off the table.

Take for example the time we turned Niall Morgan over in our own half, then generously stood back, allowing him to sprint back to his own goal before mustering an attack. Let’s not blame conditions; wind is not exclusive to Mayo.

But then, without Ryan, we lack ball-winners up front. You’d wonder what dire consequences have been threatened for wides, when every week our forwards look like they are playing pass-the-parcel.

There are exceptions though, and say what you want about Fergal Boland, but he rarely shies away from the shot. It doesn’t always pay off, but frequently it does, and sometimes, it even wins games.

It is telling that the only teams scoring fewer points than Mayo this weekend were Carlow, London, Leitrim, Waterford, and Tyrone. That is undeniably ominous. The fans know it, too. That’s why so many stayed home, and so few bothered to applaud the team at half time. 

Next weekend, we take on the All-Ireland champions, less one Aidan “Zinedine” Forker. Unlike MacHale Park, the Athletic Grounds is a fortress, and any kind of result will be a huge ask.

That hasn’t stopped a small minority of Mayo supporters on the Mayo GAA Blog confidently predicting a win. Never change, Mayo fans!

Maybe it’s not important either. Maybe we just need to listen to Kevin, keep faith and believe there is a bigger plan. 
In the hope of seeing it, I’ll make sure to remember the glasses.

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