Bullies have no age limits

Bullies have no age limits


Bullying remains a real problem in primary schools as Áine Ryan found out when she spoke to a Mayo mother

Áine Ryan

BULLYING is subtle and insidious. It is carried out by cowards who invariably project their own inadequacies on those victims whom they see as easy targets. Bullying is a problem that is rife in the vast open spaces of workplaces and behind the closed curtains of homes. It happens in taxi-ranks, hairdressing salons, supermarkets, executive boardrooms and university campuses. But when it happens in schoolyards among small children whose soft skin has not yet been inured to those techniques so necessary for survival in an increasingly complex and cynical world it can have devastating and lifelong effects. Here The Mayo News talks to one mother, who lives in rural Mayo, whose child was the victim of a sustained campaign of bullying. We also ask the experts about cyber-bullying which is now a recognised problem in Primary schools.
“WHILE my partner and I would have noticed from time to time during the first year of our daughter’s schooling that she was not as happy and relaxed as we might have liked going to school, we had no idea that the bullying was occurring on a regular basis, primarily on the school bus. She told us on the last day of her Junior Infants year what had been happening and we were absolutely devastated that we hadn’t picked up on the signals she must have been giving us. We immediately contacted the Principal and her teacher, as well as the schoolbus driver and they all vowed to make sure that the bullying behaviour would not happen during the next year.
“But it did, and our child became more and more unhappy. We spoke about it openly at home and made repeated visits to the school during the following three years. On the few occasions when there were actual incidents – usually involving deliberate and overt taunting and/or explicit exclusion – the teacher dealt with the issue at-hand directly. But there seemed to be very little follow-up in the classroom and a low-level, subtle bullying continued, putting our daughter under enormous psychological and emotional pressure. We decided we could not deal with the Board of Management as we felt some of the members were too close to what was happening.
After much deliberation, we felt that addressing the issue formally at the school would only intensify the problem but we did forward a full written account to the Department of Education. During her final year in school, she was in second class, our daughter would cry nearly every morning before going to school. We tried to be as supportive as possible, but nevertheless had taken an approach that she should ‘see the year out’, which in retrospect was a position that let our daughter down badly.
“Due to geographical realities, there was no other school within driving distance that we could send our daughter to. She is 11 years of age now and, we have home-schooled her for the last three years.
“While our daughter has managed to create some sort of relationship with the children who were bullying her we feel let down by how this situation turned out and feel that the bullying was not understood or addressed sufficiently by those with the authority to do so. Principals of schools need to be professional and neutral actors in such circumstances and should meet bullying, or alleged bullying matters, head on, with the families and children involved, then with all the children in the school in a general way. This will  highlight the importance of inclusion and kindness and understanding, indeed, encouraging difference and diversity amongst the student body.
“Our daughter is very bright, thus the task of home-schooling has been made easier with her interest and enthusiasm for learning. But she is missing out severely in terms of socialisation with her peers. While she was always a very sensitive child, my partner and I are acutely aware of how she braces herself as a form of self-protection when meeting other children and has spoken about the pressure she feels when interacting with kids her own age.
A recent comment says it all: ‘I used to be very relaxed and happy. But that was before I went to school’.”
(Some details have been changed here to protect the identity of the family.)

Cyberbullying a real problem in Primary Schools
CYBER-BULLYING in Primary Schools has become a real problem that must be proactively addressed according to expert, Marion Flanagan, an Anti-Bullying Tutor at TCD. Indeed, another academic, Clare Island resident, Dr Peter Gill, Emeritus Professor of Education at the University of Gavle, Sweden and an anti-bullying and school violence researcher, says that since cyber-bullying leaves a ‘smoking gun’ once proper policies are devised and applied it should be more easily addressed.
Ms Flanagan has argued that children as young as first class are now being bullied and taunted by text, Facebook or on the website Moshi Monsters.
“It’s not good enough anymore to say cyber-bullying doesn’t happen in primary school and, therefore, schools don’t have a responsibility to tackle it. Cyber-bullying is just an extension of what can happen in the classroom or in the playground. It’s often a lot more vicious as it’s easier for someone to say something hurtful sitting in front of a computer screen or with a Smartphone in their hands than it is looking someone in the eye,” Ms Flanagan said.
“The impact is also potentially a lot more harmful as it can be read over and over again by the victim. What might start out as a throw-away comment can all too soon become something that the target really takes to heart and gets them down,” she continued.
She says the best way to tackle such bullying is by using ‘the three pronged approach involving parents, schools and children themselves’. On the other hand, Dr Gill argues that this it is not a problem ‘in schools’ per se, because if it was it  ‘should, could and can’ be dealt with within the school context.
“The problem is that social media have extended the arena for bullying beyond the physical boundaries of school, home and journey to and from school. Thus the problem is not the ‘cyber’ part but the limits of responsibility of the school’s anti-bullying measures. If a nasty text is sent within school hours then is this –cyber-bullying’ different than if the same message is sent when the sender is at home in his or her bedroom,” he said.  
Dr Gill says that cyber-bullying should in many ways be more easily addressed than traditional bullying because the ‘footprint is traceable’ but unfortunately, the system is failing children.
He continues: “It should be easy for a headmaster to find out who sent a message and to immediately contact the parent and child and say the message you sent to X on Wednesday night is being dealt with by the police under our or the school’s supervision.
“The evidence is probably much clearer than teasing or name-calling in the schoolyard, that is, at best, reported as hearsay to the Principal. The point is that cyber-bullying does leave a ‘smoking gun’’ but the issue is the legal and moral delineation of responsibility.”   

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