Mayo man on battling cancer and belated birthday gift to Mayo Hospice

Not even a stage 3 cancer diagnosis was going to stop John Caden from walking his daughter Sarah down the aisle.

It was just six weeks after emergency surgery to remove a tumour. Ahead of the operation, he was given three days to get his affairs in order.

Even after the successful surgery to remove a seven centimetre tumour he was told: “If the chemo works, it works, if it doesn't, you’re not going to make it. On the day of the wedding, my chances of survival were 50:50.”

He delayed starting chemotherapy so that he could join his daughter on her special day.

The Killala man said that the proud fatherly moment was a driver for him and was so important for his mental health.

His mental resilience would be tested over the following two years as he went through fourteen rounds of chemotherapy and even fought sepsis, which put him in a coma for a week.

Positive outlook

His strong positive outlook on life was crucial upon receiving the diagnosis of stage three bowel cancer.

“There’s not a lot I can do about it now. Whatever you can do. I handed it over. I was powerless over it. If someone could take power over it, good and well. That was my attitude,” John said to the surgeon, stoically.

The surgeon responded that “with that attitude, you have a fair chance.”

“I believe when you get a diagnosis of cancer you have two options: die with it or live with it; the latter is the one I embraced,” John reflects now.

“I had very aggressive chemotherapy. I had it for three days on the trot every second week. I definitely spent nine months in bed without doing or going anywhere.”

John is currently in remission and says that while “you're never cured but I don't live a life of thinking I'm going to die with cancer. I'm living with the disease, and all that comes with it.”

“Once you have that diagnosis, the next day your whole life is changed.”

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“It changes who you are. My life is completely different than it was in October 2022. I had a very successful business that I got out of overnight.”

Two years ago, John was looking to celebrate his 60th birthday, but plans were put on hold as he was fighting stage three cancer and was not sure what the future held for him.

He had a big bash for his 40th birthday and 50th birthday, he decided to have one for his 62nd birthday.

Visiting friends receiving care with Mayo Hospice, he was struck by the work the Hospice does and decided “if I ever had to come to the end of life, this is where I'd want to be.”

That was when he decided that the Hospice would be the beneficiary of his fundraising. John had a target in mind of raising €10,000. It was hugely successful and an incredible €11,127.57 was raised for Mayo Roscommon Hospice.

Grateful

He is very grateful to his good friends Jarlath and Kenneth Mangan of Mocha Beans in Ballina and Michael Carr of Michael Carr foods who donated money.

“I rang them and said, I need money and it was pushing an open door.”

The party was held at the Mocha Beans Café in Ballina on June 22 to hand over the donation to the hospice.

In attendance that night were some of the friends he had made with other people who were going through the same treatment as him.

“You build up a relationship with people that you go through this journey with, and we've become great friends. There are a few of us still around and we become very, very close.

“On the night of the actual function in Ballina, there was some of them there. That was the big lift for me to see people who had come through were still in remission.”

When he is speaking to people currently going through cancer diagnosis, his message is to “stay with it, one has to stay with it. I just tell them, you’re not going to be able to get out of bed today but tomorrow you may be. On that day, always remember it’s going to be easier a few days later, it doesn’t get easy until it’s finished.”

He would urge any man over the age of 55 to get screened as bowel cancer is not easily picked up.

It is, he says now predominantly the biggest killer in men, in terms of cancer.

Symptoms to look out for include irregular bowel movements, tiredness and a loss of appetite.