FILM REVIEW The Sorcerer’s Apprentice

Lots of Nic but not enough Goethe


Daniel Carey

“IN every job that must be done, there is an element of fun … You find the fun and snap! The job’s a game.”
Some readers may recognise the spoken-word introduction to the famous ‘Mary Poppins’ song ‘Spoon Full Of Sugar’, in which the titular nanny shows the two children in her care that tidying up need not be a chore. It includes a segment in which toys put themselves away as the children snap their fingers.
But that magic was conducted under the supervision of a woman whose tape measure told her she was ‘practically perfect in every way’ and whose reflection could engage in solo singing.
‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ is the name of an 18th-century poem by Goethe in which the eponymous trainee uses magic he is not fully trained in to get a brush to clean his master’s workshop. The floor is soon awash with water and only the sorcerer’s return saves the day. The sequence featured in the 1940 Disney film ‘Fantasia’, with Mickey Mouse as the apprentice, so you’d be forgiven for thinking that Jon Turteltaub’s new movie is a full-length version. No such luck.
‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’, from the people behind the ‘National Treasure’ franchise, is hard to make sense of. After a prelude in eighth-century England, the action moves (briefly) to New York City in the year 2000. A young boy chases a note into an old store, puts on a magic ring, runs away with an important Russian doll, and sees two magicians do battle before they disappear.
Ten years later, the boy, Dave (Jay Baruchel) is a geeky 20-year-old physics student, and finds himself tracked down by the evil Horvath (Alfred Molina) and the good Balthazar (Nicolas Cage).
Balthazar reckons Dave can save mankind, but Baruchel’s character is the same kind of nerdy, hard-to-root-for type he played in ‘She’s Out Of My League’. Dave may be the world’s least charismatic big-screen creation. Sometimes he enjoys dabbling in magic, but a bit like Buffy in her early days, he’d just as soon lead a normal life and concentrate on Becky (Teresa Palmer), the girl of his dreams.
Plus points? Well, as one would expect from producer Jerry Bruckheimer, the special effects are decent – plasma balls, fire, car chases, the bringing to life of an ornamental bull, and a fair bit of what Roald Dahl’s Matilda would have summarised with the words “I did it with my powers.” There’s an enjoyable (if very brief) trip to a world where everything is in reverse, and the mop scene which seems to have inspired the title isn’t bad either.
And while ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ is not nearly as funny as it thinks it is, there is the occasional flash of wit. Having fixed the antenna at Becky’s radio station, Dave returns to his apartment quite pleased with himself. His room-mate, Bennett, is rather less impressed by his failure to seize the day with the his old flame. “She will remember me,” Dave argues. “‘She will remember me’?” Bennett mimics. “Who are you, Braveheart?”
But spell-binding it ain’t. In fact, it’s quite dull a lot of the time. There’s a lot of babbling (“I cannot raise the dead until the circle is complete” and suchlike). There is much talk of Merlin, Morgana and others who are either long dead or trapped inside small objects, but confusion reigns amid the deep background updates. “Dave, I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Becky admits towards the end. She could be speaking for at least some members of the audience. I fear there’ll be a sequel.

Rating 4/10