Mayo’s ‘Yes’ Changed My Life: Coming Home, Love, and the Power of Acceptance

"I wouldn't have returned home to Mayo, if it had been a 'No'. I wouldn’t have felt accepted," says Westport man Conor Wilson, recalling the same sex referendum in 2015.

On this day 10 years ago, Ireland was the first country to approve same-sex marriage by popular vote. Almost 6,000 same sex couples have married in ten years since the referendum, according to the Central Statistics Office.

In May 2015, Ireland made history as the first country to legalize same-sex marriage by popular vote. A decade later, Westport man Conor Wilson remembers the day of the referendum very vividly:

"I helped run a huge party for a queer club night in Dublin, for 4,000 people. It was nerve-wracking not knowing how the vote would go, but it turned into a night of pure joy and celebration. We danced until morning, overwhelmed by the sense of history."

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Conor was living in Dublin at the time, working for GCN, the Gay Community News, so he was deeply involved in the marriage equality campaign from its earliest days.

"I was knocking on doors and asking people for my right to marry. Looking back, it’s almost absurd that I had to ask my neighbours for permission to get married."

Looking back at the struggle for civil rights, it seems particularly absurd regarding Conor's attitude towards marriage back then. 

"I didn’t even plan to marry at the time. But I believed deeply in the civil right to marry: If straight people could marry and divorce, why shouldn’t we have the same rights, including the right to divorce? It was about equality, security, and being able to celebrate love with friends and family."

Campaigning was a taxing experience and emotionally difficult for Conor. There were people who would slam the door in his face. There was a lot of misinformation and scare tactics in the media, with groups spreading lies about the queer community.

"At the time, I didn’t realize how much it affected me, but in the years after, I understood just how tough it was. The fact that we had to ask for our civil rights rather than simply being granted them, as in other countries, was hard to accept. Ireland was the first to hold a referendum on this issue, which made it both a challenge and a proud moment when the result was a resounding 'Yes'."

The referendum result influenced Conor's life significantly, as his family is from Westport, and after the “yes” vote, he felt that he could move home.

"Seeing the strong 'Yes' vote in Mayo was affirming. I can only imagine how difficult it was for LGBTQ+ people in Roscommon, the only county to vote 'No'."

Conor moved back to Westport in 2017. At that time, he was dating his now husband Derrick. Conor wasn't really set on marrying. 

"But when Derrick’s visa was about to expire, I realized I couldn’t risk losing him. That’s when I knew it was the right time to marry and use those hard-won rights.

Signing the marriage documents was overwhelming — I cried, remembering how not long ago I was knocking on doors for my civil liberties. I’m grateful Ireland voted “yes,” allowing me to live and marry in my hometown. Had it gone the other way, none of this would have happened."

Even though the referendum ten years ago was a huge step forward, Conor points out that we can never take this progress and equal civil rights for granted. 

Especially in the current climate in a country like the US, where president Donald Trump is attacking civil rights, there are fears a similar rollback could happen across Europe.

For example, Hungary just recently passed a highly controversial law criminalising Pride marches and allowing the use of facial recognition technology to target participants.

"That’s why events like Mayo Pride and continued activism are so important. Our visibility is our solidarity, and there are more people who support equality than those who oppose it.

However, the far right targets marginalized groups, especially the trans community. Even 10 years after marriage equality, we need Pride because our rights can be rolled back.

Lies and misinformation spread quickly, so it’s crucial to call them out, even if it means confronting family or friends. We saw during the recent CARE referendum how quickly narratives can turn against us. It’s vital to keep fighting and supporting each other."

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