'They're two different colours but they're brothers' - Proud Mayo foster mother

There are currently over 6,000 children in care in Ireland and this figure is growing every day.

Unfortunately, a lot of children in Ireland cannot live with their own family, either on a short-term or long-term basis for various reasons and are therefore brought into State care.

This could be because of illness in the family, the death of a parent, neglect, abuse or violence in the home, or sometimes it can be because the parent or family is not coping and they need respite or long-term help. Foster families are often the safety net for children in those situations; people like Rosaleen Murphy from Mayo.

Ahead of Fostering Awareness Week, the Mayo News spoke to Rosaleen who has fostered two children who were both in need of a home and family.

Rosaleen is the proud foster mother to two foster children, a 19-year-old Nigerian boy and a twelve-year-old girl, and three biological children as well.

Rosaleen has always been interested in fostering since she was a little girl and her dreams have finally come true.

"My mum and dad were asked to take foster children when I was small," she said. "I was about five when my mum decided against it because she was afraid she'd get too attached to the children, even though she was very gifted with children.

"She decided against it and it was always something that piqued my interest."

Rosaleen said that it was always in the back of her mind to foster because she loved the idea of helping a child in need.

"We started fostering then in 2019. Our first placement was a respite placement; we had two brothers for ten days. 

"When you're bringing people into your house for the first time, there's a lot of nerves. It was nerve-wracking, but it was a great experience."

Rosaleen took in a long-term foster child then in August 2019 and he has lived with her and her family ever since.

"So he's here with us nearly seven years, he was 12 when he came to us and he's nearly 19 now. He'll be 19 in April.

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"There was a lot of settling in, but it worked out fantastic. He has a fantastic relationship now with his siblings. Everybody gets on really well.

"He has such a good relationship with my family and my extended family that he's considering changing his name to take our surname."

Rosaleen said that although her foster son is Nigerian and is of a different skin colour to his brothers, peers at school know them as brothers and he has been accepted widely in his community.

"He fits in very well at school. He's a different culture, so he's Nigerian, so he'll be a different colour. But we had a fantastic community around us and they all accepted him so easily. So it was the best thing I think our family ever did. I wouldn't change five minutes of it".

Rosaleen said that her foster child also has his twin siblings who are with a foster family in Mayo as well and she takes them on weekends regularly.

"Their foster mother and father go to the same meeting that I go to, so we've developed a really, really good relationship and it keeps the family unit together too. The twins are very much part of our life too."

Rosaleen also fostered a young girl two years ago who is twelve years old now and is described as a really bubbly, really happy little girl who is very happy with Rosaleen and her family now.

Rosaleen and her foster children both have close contact with their biological parents.

"We have developed a very good relationship with both sets of parents. When you foster children I'm always under the belief that you always remember that they have their own parents and that, yes, they're yours temporarily, and they might be in your heart forever, but they always have parents. 

"No matter what the background is, you have to be respectful towards the parents because whether it's an addiction or a mental health issue, it's not necessarily their fault.

"And it's scary for them to have to come in and just fit in, it's much harder for them than it is for us. You know, they have to trust us.

"They have to trust the process in the house. They have to trust that they're going to be safe and they're kind of putting all their eggs in one basket."

Rosaleen highly recommends fostering to anyone who is able to do so.

She advised to "get your information and make the phone call and talk to other foster parents because when you talk to other foster parents, you're getting the reality of life. 

"It's not all roses in the garden and it's definitely a different lifestyle, but it's a lifestyle where you can help to improve somebody's quality of life and give them the opportunity to have a good life".

If you are interested in fostering a child, you can send an enquiry to www.fosteringfirstireland.ie or call Fostering Advisor Jess directly on 087 9394697.

You can also attend one of their fortnightly information sessions which are held online with fostering advisors and experienced foster carers.

Fostering First Ireland's criteria to be able to foster a child is as follows: 

- You need to be over the age of twenty-five, there is no upper age with fostering you just need to be in good health and have a reliable support network around you.
- You should have a spare bedroom available, foster children can not share with your own children.
- If you have children, your youngest should be at least 3 years old. You do not need children to foster.
- You should have your full driving licence, there are a lot of appointments that come up for children in care so it is important that you can travel to and from them.

"Fostering is the most amazing rewarding journey you will ever experience, one piece of advice that our foster carers would always give is to just get going and try not to think too much about making that call. You are always supported by professionals and never alone once you get started you will not look back," Fostering First Ireland said.