Moments, History, and Midnight Memories - Thank You Liam

I have spent the last nine years hoping, praying, and waiting for the day the official One Direction account would become active again, but if I had known the reason the boys would be posting together, I would’ve found a way for time to stand still.

I was just eight years old when the band formed. I always wished I had been a bit older, but today, I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to experience and grow up with them in real time.

So much of my childhood is intertwined with 1D. My first concert was their X Factor Live Tour, my room was covered in their posters, and my wardrobe was full of their merchandise. Wherever I was, it wasn’t long before something One Direction covered would appear; even my confirmation cake had a photo of the band on it.

_{One Direction were formed on The X Factor in 2010}

I remember waiting up until midnight for music video releases and livestreams. I remember the excitement of going to see their movie the very day it was released, and subsequently watching said movie 187 times (and counting).

I remember the morning of May 25, 2013 when I got tickets for their Croke Park gig, which would take place the following year, and I of course, remember going to the gig with my cousins and my aunty, a cardboard poster saying ‘Liam, will you marry me?’ under my arm, and feeling as though all my dreams had come true.

I remember the day Zayn left, crying in school, thinking it was the most terrible thing to happen to the band.

I, and my whole family, remember the band's final performance before their hiatus on The X Factor in December 2015, and I was in floods of tears as they stepped back from their microphones after singing the final line of ‘History’: “We can live forever”, and I truly thought they would.

_{One of the three One Direction gigs in Croke Park in 2014 (Photo: Croke Park website)}

When I saw the news in the early hours of Thursday morning, I couldn’t believe it. 

Liam was always the one with his head on his shoulders, gaining the nickname ‘Daddy Directioner’ from fans in the early days of the band. 

It was apparent that in recent times, Liam was struggling, and being truthful, it became apparent that he wasn’t the same boy he used to be, but a troubled man, who I hoped would have his day in the sun. However, that will never come to be.

As statements from the other boys come in, and the Directioner’s rally together online, it’s all becoming a bit too real. 

Mourning a celebrity so deeply is always a controversial thing, and I understand that despite all I knew about One Direction, I don’t know much about who Louis, Zayn, Liam, Niall and Harry really are.

But, this feels like more than that. It’s the most cherished, all-consuming piece of my childhood being tainted, broken, and ultimately, being over.

So many moments now feel heavy, and so many lyrics have taken on a different meaning, but us, the fans, and them, the boys, Liam, were the greatest team, and that will live forever.