Breaking up ain’t that hard to do

Breaking up ain’t that hard to do


C'mere till i tell ya
Daniel Carey

BREAKING up, the song says, is hard to do. It may be considerably easier, though, for the growing number of people who are divorcing their spouses without actually telling them face to face. A Sharia Court in Malaysia recently ruled that a Muslim man had legally divorced his wife by sending her a text message, while a woman in England announced her intention to leave her husband by placing a banner over a busy main road in Birmingham.
The large banner had the message ‘Jack, are the Villa really more important than our marriage? It’s over, Jess’ daubed over it in black paint. Placed on a busy commuter route near West Bromwich, it was seen by thousands of motorists and appears to refer to Jack’s allegiance to Aston Villa Football Club.
The Birmingham Post newspaper interviewed passing motorists to get their reactions. “I love the Villa, but I always try and keep the missus sweet as well,” commented Paul Brennan. “This is a cruel way to break the news to him, though. I don’t know who they are or who has done what, but this is a certainly a harsh way to do it.”
One van driver, a fan of the rival West Bromwich Albion club, told the paper: “You shouldn’t make a man pick between his woman and his football team. Most people around here are Albion fans so I wonder if she’s a disgruntled Baggies supporter.”
The conflict between love and sport is not a new one. In 1991, Kevin McCall cancelled his wedding at the last minute because it clashed with a soccer match involving his beloved Hereford United. “It hit me halfway through my stag night that I’d rather be going to the match than marry Nicola,” he explained. I was unable to find out whether Hereford won the game in question.
There was, hopefully, a happier ending to the story which produced the most memorable banner of the 2006 World Cup. It was unfurled by an England supporter before his country’s game against Paraguay, and read: “Don’t give birth yet, Claire.”
Striking a balance between domestic harmony and sporting responsibilities can be difficult. But many people feel that the Canadian goalkeeper who conceded an easy goal because he was talking to his girlfriend on a mobile phone crossed a line. The other end of the spectrum, where one’s hobby takes over to the exclusion of all else, is captured in a famous cartoon where a golfer arrives home to find a hand-written note which says simply ‘your dinner is in the dog’.
But romance has blossomed on the golf course too, as one story from the 1920s will testify. “We could never understand why a certain caddie was always smartly dressed and had cigarettes,” recalls one individual who worked at the Temple club.  “He was a man of about 20 years who never worked but always caddied for a certain lady. One day while looking for birds’ nests, we came upon them– and they were not playing golf.”