HEALTH Resolve to accentuate the positive

THINK TWICE?Over-ambitious new year’s resolutions can lead to feelings of self-loathing.

Resolve to accentuate the positive


Mental Health
Jannah Walshe

New years’ resolutions – good or a bad idea? Do you set resolutions every year, or do you avoid them as much as possible? I tend to shy away from strong opinions, often keeping a diplomatic middle ground, but with new year’s resolutions I stand my ground. I don’t like them. At least not in their most well-known form.
New year’s resolutions sometimes bring hope and motivation, but they most often generate negative feelings of self-loathing, particularly when they don’t go well. They start from a place of competition and low self-esteem and they end in much the same place, only now with added guilt for not having achieved the end goal.
January is typically already a miserable month. Grey, wet, cold weather; viruses unrelenting in their attempts to bring us down; guilt over Christmas cake and wine gnawing away. What a time for a touch of self-inflicted suffering!
We decide to set our goals so high and aim to bring such humongous changes to our daily lives and routines that we set ourselves up for failure. Why do we do this to ourselves? There are many reasons.
The beginning of anything new often prompts us to re-evaluate our current situation and look for ways to make changes, and the start of the new year is no different. It is natural to look back to the past year and see areas where changes or improvements could be made. Examples of this would be starting that new fitness plan or learning that new language, things which maybe didn’t quite take off last year.
Many of people overindulge in food and drink at Christmas, justifying it by aiming to be extra strict in the new year. Plans for a new diet or a new exercise regime are made. But beware of the guilt that accompanies those few extra pounds on the hips: It’s not the best mental place to be in to start any new diet, fitness or any plan.
Also, with all the talk about resolutions, and with others having resolution lists as long as the year ahead, we can become sucked into this frame of mind before we even realise it. Yes, peer support is great for any new venture, but make sure it is one that you have really thought through and want to do yourself.

Focus on the positive
You may already be in full resolution mode. Whether you’re loving it or hating it, how about adding to or changing the resolutions you made for this year? Move from focusing on the negative to focusing on the positive – in particular, the positive things you would like to bring into your life.
By framing the resolution in this positive way adds to your life rather than takes away from it, you’ll find it much easier to stick with it.
Notice where your thinking has a negative slant, and change it around. For example, instead of viewing your body as the solitary vessel for calories (thought pattern here is “I am so fat and ugly”), why not bring your attention to an area you like about yourself, even a little bit, and look to accentuate it. Instead of taking away from your diet (“I will never eat [fill in your own particular vice here] again”), try adding small amounts of healthy foods to your daily meals. Instead of trying to force yourself to stick to your resolutions (“I never stick to anything”), focus your attention on doing healthy things that you enjoy doing, when you enjoy doing them.
These are small, subtle changes that involve moving away from negative thought patterns to more positive ones. You can only win, as you have not created any reason to criticise yourself and you have brought more positivity and light into this somewhat dreary month. Try it out. I would love to hear how you get on. I can be contacted using the details below.
Wishing you a happy and resolution-free new year.

Jannah Walshe is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Castlebar and Westport. A pre-accredited member of The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, she can be contacted via  www.jannahwalshe.ie or at 085 1372528.