HEALTH What if Christmas is not a happy time?

DIFFICULT TIME?Christmas can be a struggle for some.

What if it’s not a season of good cheer? 


Mental Matters
Jannah Walsh

Christmas is almost always portrayed a happy time. But for some, the season of goodwill can turn into the season of great stress. Are you one of these people? Do you dread Christmas coming around each year?
If you are not looking forward to Christmas, you are not alone. If you are lucky enough to be among the those who look forward to the annual festivities, it might be a good idea to look out for those who might not feel the same way.

Stress
Stress levels can be high in the run up to Christmas. Pressure to have everything organised and perfect can take a toll. People who suffer with this type of stress may be inclined to take on all the preparation, and others in their lives can become used to this and allow it to happen.
If you are under pressure and stressed because of it, learn to speak to someone about what it’s like for you. If help is offered, accept it.
It may also be useful to investigate further your desire to be organised and in control to the point of perfection. Do you allow time to relax?
If you know someone who is highly stressed by Christmas approaching, try to make yourself available should they need to talk, and try to help them out anywhere you can and want to.
 
Loss
Christmas can be a stark reminder of someone who is no longer in your life through death, seperation or estrangement. Feelings surrounding loss can become heightened at specific dates throughout the year, and Christmas is often one of these times.
If the loss has been recent, don’t set your expectations of yourself too high this Christmas. Allow yourself to do what you need to do, whether it’s being around loved ones or spending more time by yourself.
Often people report conflicting feelings. On the same day, you may feel intense sadness while remembering the person you have lost and also feel great love, happiness or fun while enjoying some aspect of Christmas. This can be confusing, but it’s perfectly normal. Remember you are the one grieving, and you need time to do that in whatever way works for you.

Money worries
Going through financial difficulties is not a mental-health issue in itself, but it can have a major impact on how someone is feeling and coping. Money worries are often particularly heightened around Christmas time with so much pressure to provide abundant food and gifts.
There are two approaches to this. One involves tackling the money issues. Work out a budget, and stick to it. Get help with managing your bank balance if necessary.
The other approach is to deal with the emotional impact of the financial struggles. It’s a good idea talk to someone who understands your situation to help lessen the burden on yourself.

Isolation
Isolation is another thing that many people face around this time of year. It can stem from anything from loss of a loved one/s to depression. Whatever the reason, the longer it continues, the harder it seems to be to fix. This is the vicious cycle that allows it to continue.
If you face isolation this Christmas, try to do at least one small thing that could slowly start to change your situation. It could be enough to allow a new, more-positive cycle to slowly start building.
If you know someone who is isolated, remember that even one small thing you could do for them could have a hugely positive impact.

Reach out
If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed by it all this Christmas, reach out to someone. Talk to your doctor, mental-health professional or a family member or friend you can trust. It may be hard at the moment, but you do not have to go through it alone. And check out my Facebook page in the run up to Christmas for my 12 mental-health tips for the 12 days of Christmas.

Jannah Walshe is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Castlebar and Westport. A fully accredited member of The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, she can be contacted via www.jannahwalshe.ie or at 085 1372528.