HEALTH When distress leads to self-harm

PAIN INSIDE OUT A person is more likely to self-harm if they feel alone, isolated, not listened to, out of control, hopeless or powerless.

When distress leads to self-harm


Jannah Walshe

Self-harm has been gaining media attention in recent years, but what exactly is it? What drives someone to self harm? And what should you do if you are worried that someone you know might be self-harming?
Typically, self-harming is viewed as the act of cutting, burning, biting, picking or scratching oneself, pulling out hair, head banging and hitting, overdosing or self-poisoning. These are the more widely known and well-documented means of harming oneself.
People who self-harm often describe it as a way to express feelings, making the invisible visible. Self-harm can help to reduce overwhelming emotions, bring a sense of control and/or  let others know the severe distress that is inside. It is sometimes a way of punishing oneself. It is not, as it is sometimes viewed, a method of attention seeking or manipulation.
A person is more likely to self-harm if they feel alone, isolated, not listened to, out of control, hopeless or powerless. Self-harm is not an illness, it is an expression of personal distress that has become unmanageable to the person by any other means.
Self-harm can be hard to define, as it can take various different forms, but it is generally defined as the act of causing harm to oneself either by causing a physical injury, by putting oneself in a dangerous situation and/or self neglect. Self-harm is commonly described as the deliberate injury to oneself, typically as a manifestation of a psychological or psychiatric disorder.
I tend to take a broader view, including any action that may be harming to the physical body. Things such as alcohol abuse, eating disorders, overworking, overeating, excessively exercising or neglecting physical symptoms and illnesses may fall under the category of self-harm. This is a kind of low-key self harm that is often culturally accepted and not recognised as self-harm.
We can all relate to doing things that we probably know are not good for us and we still continue to do them. There are many reasons why this could be so. Is self-harm one of them? If you feel you are harming yourself in any way because of personal distress which has become overwhelming and this has become your only way to manage and control this distress then you may be self-harming.
Self-harming can be very difficult to manage by yourself, so try to find someone you can trust to speak to about what is going on with you. This will help clarify whether self-harm is an issue, and any supports that may be needed can be looked at.
It is impossible to get an idea of how common self-harm is in reality, because in so many cases it goes unreported. The research that is out there probably underestimates how common it is.
While it is believed to be more common in girls and in teenagers, this can be a rather simplistic view, as self-harm does not differentiate between gender or age. It is just as likely for an older male to harm himself through alcohol abuse as it is for a young female to self-harm in the same manner. What is important is that no matter what the self-harm is or who it is affecting, it must be taken seriously and treated with proper care and support.
If you know someone who self-harms and you are worried about them, you can help them by being there for them. This can be done by listening to them without judgement, finding out about getting help, giving them information about self-harm (books, leaflets etc) and helping them to see that self-harm is an issue that can be resolved, not a shameful secret.
Try not to react too strongly to their self-harm, with anger or upset, as this can make them feel worse. And don’t expect that it will stop overnight: the road to recovery takes time and effort. They can benefit hugely from your care and support, but be mindful of your own self-care in the process.
If you have any further questions about self-harm please do not hesitate to get in contact with me.

Jannah Walshe is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Castlebar and Westport. A pre-accredited member of The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, she can be contacted via  www.jannahwalshe.ie or at 085 1372528.