HEALTH Minding your teen’s mental health

TROUBLED THOUGHTS?Sometimes teenage moods are more than ‘just a phase’.

Minding your teen’s mental health


Mental Health
Jannah Walsh

It’s a pretty common perception that teenagers often feel misunderstood. How often have you heard “You just don’t understand me?” Is this true? Are teenagers really that hard to understand?
Although all of us have gone through the teenage years, a gulf seems to develop between teenagers and adults. The older adults get, it seems the harder it is for them to relate to teens.  
I wonder are we doing our youth a disservice by allowing ‘selective memory’ to set in and by putting all of their behaviour down to ‘being a teenager’.
Certain changes in behaviour are to be expected. They are going through a huge amount of change and upheaval, physically, emotionally and socially. Allowing for them to mature and grow as an independent people with all the changes this brings is normal. However, do you often wonder when you should become concerned?
The fact is there are times when you should worry, and the concerns are the same for teens as they are for adults. They include panic attacks, anxiety, depression, self-harm, isolation and eating disorders. Signs of these issues should not be ignored or passed off as typical teenage angst.

Signs no look out for

• Consistently lower mood
• Marked increase in alcohol or drug use
• Lack of care for personal appearance
• Talking about not wanting to live
• Loss of interest in things previously enjoyed
• Withdrawal from family, friends, activities and social groups
• Tearfulness or frequent crying
• Becoming overly pessimistic and finding the wrong in every situation
• Noticeably disturbed sleep
• Eating very little or overeating
• Becoming very irritable or aggressive
• Unexpected or dramatic drop in academic performance
• Difficulty following a conversation or concentrating
• Recurrent physical symptoms or unexplained illnesses
• Running away or talking about running away
• Hearing or seeing things no one else can see or hear

If you are unsure whether the teenager in your life is just ‘being a teenager’ or is suffering a mental-health issue, consider how long the symptoms have been present, how severe they are and how different the teen is acting from his or her usual self. Even if you are not sure whether a mental health issue is present, the troublesome behaviours and emotions you are seeing may still be a problem and still need to be addressed.
In the most loving, gentle and non-judgmental way you can share your concerns with them. Let the teen know the changes you have noticed. Encourage them to share what is going on inside their heads. They may not open up too readily, but even by you asking and showing your concern they will be left secure in the knowledge that someone does notice what’s happening in their lives.
Be respectful of their comfort level, but without ignoring what’s going on. Follow up in a few weeks by checking in with them again. If they do talk with you, resist the urge to criticise or judge. Simply acknowledge his or her feelings without blame or guilt.
Offer to help them get the appropriate support and go with them to the GP if necessary. If no physical health issues are found to explain the teenager’s behaviour, ask the doctor to refer them to a psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist or counsellor. Always get the teenager’s input in this. If they feel uncomfortable or are not connecting with the person they are meeting with, ask for another referral that may be better suited to them. Don’t rely fully on medication: Ask or look for counselling as well. Talk therapy can be very effective with mild to moderate mental-health issues in young people.
Finally, don’t forget to support yourself also. Worrying and looking after someone else can be very draining. Reach out to friends, family or see a therapist of your own. Talk about how the teen’s mental health issues are affecting you. Demonstrate good example and mind yourself too.

Jannah Walshe is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Castlebar and Westport. A pre-accredited member of The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, she can be contacted via  www.jannahwalshe.ie or at 085 1372528.