Protecting your child

Protecting your child


Ciara Galvin

WITH last week’s horrific events in Athlone still fresh in the minds of the public, parents all over the country have been hit with renewed worry for the safety of their children.
Shock and outrage surged through the land as news broke of how two innocent girls, aged six and nine, had allegedly been lured away from a birthday party and raped. Speaking to The Mayo News, ISPCC Regional Manager Aoife Griffin said that 33 percent of calls to the ISPCC in the three days after those events were from concerned parents asking for advice on how to keep their children safe.
Sadly – yet understandably – the carefree days of children playing outside with friends are being sacrificed in order to ensure their safety.
However, rather than children losing out on a normal childhood, perhaps a review of the way dangers are communicated to children could be more effective.

In schools
For Teresa McEvilly, a parent, and principal of Killawalla NS, the events in Athlone affected her like any parent.
“It alerted me to the fact that it can happen. It’s a small area here and we intimately know families here, so there’s rarely an incident when children are left unattended, but you can never ever ever be over vigilant,” said the principal.
It is important that parents know what their child is learning about safety in school, and that they strengthen that message by positively reinforcing it at home.
In the school environment Social Personal and Health Education (SPHE) is mandatory for all students in primary schools and in the junior cycle of post primary schools.
The CAPP (Child Abuse Prevention Programme) or ‘Stay Safe’ is a primary-school based approach that aims to prevent and reduce vulnerability to child abuse and bullying through the provision of a personal safety education programme. All primary schools are required to fully implement it.
Through the Stay Safe programme, children will learn about safe and unsafe situations, bullying, inappropriate touching, secrets, telling and stranger danger.
Vincent McDarby senior clinical psychologist with Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital, Crumlin, and principal psychologist with the National Children’s Research Centre, described Stay Safe as a ‘very well-developed programme’ that is ‘age appropriate’ for each class.
Through its lessons, Stay Safe seeks to give children the skills necessary for recognising and resisting abuse and victimisation. It also teaches them that they should always tell an adult that can help about any situation which they find unsafe, upsetting, threatening, dangerous or abusive.
All schools must have a child protection policy in place that adheres to certain key principles of best practice in child protection and welfare.
As part of that policy, the school’s board of management must nominate a Designated Liaison Person (DLP) who will deal with the HSE, An GΡrda SíochΡna and other parties in connection with any allegation or concerns about child abuse. The name of the DLP (usually the principal) should be displayed in a prominent position near the main entrance of the school.
If parents are unsure of the school’s protection policy, a copy of it must be made readily available to them on request.

At home
The teaching guides provided by the Stay Safe programme help children to understand the concept of ‘stranger’, and explain to a child that although most strangers are good, some are bad.
To provide consistent teaching to children about stranger danger, it is important that the message they receive at school is echoed at home, and that parents explain that you should not judge whether a person is good or bad based on how they look.   
McDarby is keen to point out that while it is important to speak in a language the child understands, the child should not be frightened.
“You don’t want to make them anxious,” he explained. “They need to explore their world in order to develop, but they also need to be protected.”
While the old teaching of ‘never talk to strangers’ may have been adopted in the past and seems clear cut, a child must know that in some cases – for example, if they are lost or in danger – it is okay to talk to a stranger. The child should understand that it is okay to speak to easily identifiable adults such as a garda or a security guard. At the same time, they should be aware that they are allowed to say ‘No’ to an adult if they feel uncomfortable.
The ISPCC issued a leaflet last week on keeping children safe in public places. It contains lots of tips, such as teaching a child their full name, address and telephone number and practicing this regularly as soon as they understand the details.
The ISPCC also recommends choosing a designated ‘safe spot’ (such as an information desk) where you can meet if you get separated when out shopping; holding hands in crowded places; and not walking too far ahead of toddlers who can’t keep up.

Signs
What should you look out for if you are worried that a child may have been the victim of sexual abuse? One of the most telling signs is ‘sexualised behaviour’, Mr McDarby says.
All children’s behaviour is modelled on others and what they see somewhere or saw someone doing, he explained. This exposure can then manifest itself in their play in the form of them being sexualised with toys or touching themselves, depending on the impact of the exposure.
Other signs may include a child becoming withdrawn or possibly upset if brought into contact with a situation or person that reminds them of the event.
However, McDarby points out, very young children who have been sexually abused might not seem upset; it may only be when they get older that they realise ‘that wasn’t normal’.
“Young children may not see it [the experience] as negative or strange,” said McDarby, clarifying that this is because the sexual exposure would be completely new and alien to them.
If a person suspects a child has been or is being sexually abused, Mr McDarby says they should first contact a social work department within the HSE.
“Reporting sexual abuse hasn’t been put on a statutory basis yet, but if you suspect [it has taken place] contact a social work department,” advises McDarby.
He also suggests reading the HSE’s ‘Children First’ guidelines, Ireland’s national guidance for the protection and welfare of children. They are available at www.hse.ie.

Perspective
However, parents should try to keep their reactions to last week’s horrible assaults in Athlone in perspective. Those attacks, which robbed two little girls of their innocence, traumatised their families, and shocked a community and country. But it was a random attack, and both Vincent McDarby and Aoife Griffin from the ISPCC  stress that such events are rare. However, one attack is too many, and vigilance, education and awareness of the signs and dangers can help to ensure our children are as safe as they can be.