FAMILY LAW Why can’t I see my daughter?

Agreeing access to a child  after a break-up can be difficult.

Why can’t I see my daughter?


Family Law
Brid Manifold

It was my daughter’s third birthday on Saturday last. I was to collect her on the Sunday at 12pm for a small party with my family. At 11pm the night before I got a text from my ex telling me she had made other plans. This is not the first time she has done this to me. Is there anything I can do to stop her doing this. We are not married. What rights have I?

It can be very frustrating to feel at the mercy of the mother as to when you get to see your daughter. Unmarried fathers have no automatic legal rights. You can be appointed a guardian very simply, by signing a joint declaration with the consent of the mother. If she refuses, a simple application to the District Court can be made.
Mothers are sometimes alarmed when a father looks for guardianship. They think he is trying to take the child away. This is not the case. Guardianship carries the right to make decisions on major areas of a child’s life, such as religion, schooling, passports, medical treatment and adoption. It does not confer any custody or access rights as these are separate rights.
You need to point out to your ex-partner the importance of regular contact for you and your daughter. It might help to ask her for suggestions as to times that work well for her and Leah.  A single mother raising a child alone can often feel abandoned and unsupported. Recognising her need for a break too can ease tensions. 
If you can work out access arrangements yourselves it is so much better than doing it in a courtroom. If communication between you is not happening at the moment, you might suggest mediation where you both will have professional support to help you reach an agreement.
If all that fails, a court would certainly give you an order for regular access. Depending on the age of the child, every second weekend and some mid-week contact is the norm. The main thing to remember is that contact with your daughter is as much more about her right to see you as your right of access to her – a fact sometimes forgotten between warring parents.
You will find some very helpful information for unmarried parents on www.treoir.ie

Brid Manifold is a family-law solicitor and mediator based in Galway City. Her monthly columns will cover a range of family-law and mediation issues. Email your questions in confidence to Brid at familylaw@mayonews.ie.

The above is generalised information and may not apply to you. You should always get individual legal advice on your own particular circumstances from an experienced family law solicitor.