MENTAL HEALTH: Why silence is golden

BELIEVE it or not, some people would prefer physical pain to sitting in silence. This might seem difficult to believe, I’m aware, but through my work I know that this is why people can sometimes struggle with taking action to change their behaviours or mindframe. If you can’t sit long enough to understand your ‘why’ and work to develop a ‘how’, there can be no change.
In this modern world, I think we can all agree that if you want to avoid or drown out your inner thoughts, it’s not only possible and but actually very doable. Sure with limitless entertainment like social media, television and streaming available at your fingertips, why wouldn’t you lean into it? If you would categorise yourself as having few moments of silence in your day, it can seem very hard to even consider sitting alone.
The main benefit of learning to engage in silent thinking is the self-awareness that you will achieve from it. You are curious about so much in the world, it’s a bit of a shame that you might not bring this curiosity to your own mind.
The brain has so much to tell, in terms of where we are when it comes to our mental health, physical wellbeing and emotional life. This information can be revealing and help us make positive changes. But of course there are exceptions.
If you are someone who can experience negative or ‘inner critic’ thoughts, it’s important to be able to identify them and isolate them when they’re having a negative impact. To get to this stage you will need to listen deeply and become even more familiar with them. As time goes on, you will be quicker and better equipped to focus your attention on only that which could be useful to you and your life.
And look, I get the hesitation. When left alone to think, your innermost difficult or even embarrassing memories of past situations that caused upset or anger can come flooding back. There is no tried and tested way to prevent these thoughts, so it’s worth trying to embrace them, even a little bit. If they’re fleeting and evoke just a second of cringe, don’t encourage them to linger. Rather focus your mind on something else that you’ve been meaning to think some more about – say an upcoming trip away or outstanding tasks you need to gain some clarity on.
However, if some of the negative thoughts are sticking around a little bit longer, there is likely a reason for this. Maybe some part of you wishes to do some reflection on them?
Work on reviewing the thought or issue at hand in an objective way, and you may uncover some details as to why the thought arose and possible clarity on how to move forward or avoid its negative impact again. Remember, thoughts that make you feel good may not yield as much learning, meaning or insight, so if you think you are in a position to, then taking some learnings from this practice can only be a good thing.
Sitting with your thoughts is an entirely free tool that can be used almost any time and any place. It can give you an opportunity to understand yourself, your experiences and your reactions more and trigger improvements in the way you live your life.
If like me, you may not yet be ready to partake in a silent meditation retreat, start small and see where it gets you. I hope you will find it pleasantly surprising and rather rewarding.

Sadhbh Dunne is a qualified life coach based in Westport. She is the founder of Ember Coaching (embercoaching.ie) and can be reached at sadhbh@embercoaching.ie.