MENTAL HEALTH: Our emotions reveal who we really are

HAVE you ever looked around you and wondered what thoughts and emotions are running through other people’s heads? Maybe they’re anxious about a job interview, or nervous about meeting someone for the first time, or full of glee to be jetting out of the airport, or apprehensive about an appointment. I know that my curiosity has always drawn me towards trying to understand where others’ emotions are coming from.

The emotions that you and I might experience in a situation may be vastly different, but when it comes to emotions, we all have a similar goal. The aim is to experience positive feelings and to avoid more negative ones whenever possible. With this in mind, we can see how emotions are one of our most powerful motivators.

If you were devoid of emotions, you might not wish to be safe and warm, or have any interest in getting to work on time. At a basic level, emotions make you ‘bother’ to do anything.

Emotions also allow us to build relationships with others. If you can relate to something a peer is going through, you can offer support or advice. Or if it is something about which you have no knowledge, you can at least empathise with their emotion and understand the difficulties they may be experiencing.

Interestingly, those who struggle to identify or lean into their emotions can often have feelings of low self-esteem and increased negative thoughts about themselves and their position in the world.

If you’d like to become more attuned with what makes you tick, watching others is a useful place to look. If you’ve back emotions because of you’ve experienced past judgement for showing them, seeing others holding a space for them can be really helpful.

If you’re struggling to find a starting point, an emotional wheel is a great resource to get you thinking and exploring. Have a look online, and you’ll find plenty. An emotional wheel made of concentric circles shows primary emotions and then breaks them down further into secondary and tertiary emotions to help you pinpoint exactly how you’re feeling. It’s a great tool for communication, or even journaling exactly how you’re feeling, and it’s of particular use if you feel that you don’t have the words to describe something.

I know that people can sometimes be afraid of delving too deep into their emotions because of what it might yield or bring to the fore. If this is true for you, I would highly recommend completing this work with a professional service provider, so you have that element of support that can be so crucial.

Remember, there is no ideal balance of emotions. We are all individuals, and all our emotions serve a purpose and hold value, so you should provide the space for them to be experienced. However, an emotion can trigger undesired behaviour or actions. If so, you should be mindful of this and work to keep an element of control over your responses. I like the idea that it’s okay to let the more challenging emotions come for a visit, but be wary of letting them stay around for too long.