iProblems

Diary of a home bird
Ciara Galvin

THEY said you should never work with animals or children. I say, you should never work with your parents. And by that, I’m talking teaching your parents anything. In my opinion, leave it to the professionals; qualified teachers, lecturers and practitioners.
The female roomie got a new iPad mini for Christmas, courtesy of her other half (I know, we were all pretty impressed by his choice also). Unwrapping it on Christmas Day she had a smile from ear to ear, no doubt thinking of the hours of social media activity she could rack up.
There was only one problem though. How in God’s name do you set up an iPad mini? Enter moi, the technologically challenged baby of the house, to scratch my head through proceedings and pretend like I knew what I was at.
As the Christmas TV specials followed the fate of the jilted at the altar, or someone who found out their pet hamster wasn’t who they thought they were (I realise these may not have been soap storylines, but you never know), I got to work on the iPad.
We stumbled at the first hurdle: a four digit password. A ten-minute conversation ensued about the merits of one set of digit combinations over another. Dates of birth, anniversaries and even the most basic of formations were thrown around the table. All we were missing were plumes of cigarette smoke and a team of political aids for it to feel like we were negotiating the surrender of missiles.
“It’s just four numbers Mam,” I repeated.
Next it was time for the real nitty gritty stuff, more passwords. I agree with the parentals, passwords are a pain in the … well, you know. No sooner have you drilled one into your brain than you’re required to make space for another.
Then there’s the dilemma about using the same password for everything. And you think ‘But then that one account will be hacked, and soon all the accounts will be hacked, and the bank will be ringing wondering why a person with a very exotic name is booking six flights to Antigua on your credit card’.
But hey, at least Apple has put provisions in place for this, yes, in the form of security questions to make sure you are who you say you are. This is when the cracks began to show in Madre’s smile. ‘What was the name of your first pet?’ I dutifully asked, and ‘What’s the name of the first street you lived on?’.
As time ticked by I knew I was facing another challenge: Setting up an ‘Apple ID’ – the unique ID you can use to basically do everything you want on a device, from downloading an app or a song to simply using the tablet. 
Why I got landed with this job is beyond me – heck, I’m the one that was hacked three years ago and hasn’t been able to download an App since. So ya, here I am, setting up the female roomie’s iPad when I can’t even download ‘Angry Birds’ on my swanky iPhone 6.
The good news is we got it up and running and she could be currently reading this online. (Hi mam.) Still, I’d pick negotiating the handover of weapons of mass destruction any day.

In her fortnightly Diary of a Home Bird column, Ciara Galvin reveals the trials and tribulations of a twenty-something year old trying to get used to living away from her parents.