MENTAL HEALTH: The most wonderful time of the year?

DESPITE it being only one day out of 365 in a year, as a collective we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have a magical Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, isn’t it? According to the endless loop of festive songs, that’s a big yes.
Although endless joyous cheer can envelop many throughout December, this is not the case for everyone for a range of reasons. In fact, times like this, which are centred around family, can a tipping point for some.
Loneliness is a common emotion for many at this time. Perhaps you are separated from those you love as a result of family division or bereavement. Maybe you’re surrounded by more people than ever but yet have never felt loneliness like it. Remember, comparing your experiences with your view of someone else’s can be triggering, so be mindful of this when others are telling you about their ‘wonderful’ Christmas break.
Not everyone has a so-called picture perfect family. And of course being in close proximity to people who bring their own individual Christmas expectations to the table can bring simmering tensions to a head. As conflicting points of view arise, these tensions can reach a climax and spark an argument. If this happens, try and take some space or time to calm down and gather your thoughts before you offer a retort. Be on the lookout for any indications that you’re getting aggravated – like feeling tense or an increased heart rate – and head it off at the pass.
You may be someone who enjoys a tipple or two over the festive period. Of course this is no problem, but bear in mind that it can sometimes make negative situations worse. Alcohol is a depressant and so perhaps should be avoided in large amounts if you notice a negative impact. In an attempt to maintain an even mood, high energy levels and good sleep, try to limit or reduce your consumption for the benefit of all.
Around this time ten years ago, I was finishing up for the school holiday break. Jovial greetings could be heard down the hallway as staff and students shared their wishes for a nice Christmas. No chance of that for me, as I was gearing up for one like no other at a hospital bedside as my granny’s health deteriorated. Despite coming around to the idea of this sort of Christmas, I didn’t have to worry. Instead, I spent Christmas Eve at her funeral, forever changing the grá I once held for this cheery time of year. The sadness lingers every year, and so I have had plenty of practice in managing my expectations around others’ elation. I now have found ways to enjoy a nice festive season, and it thankfully works perfectly fine for me. Maybe you can to?
If you are full of anticipation and excitement for Christmas, I hope that it is all you’ve dreamed of. But if for whatever reason you’re not, be gentle and kind to yourself. It is truly only a day, and all days pass. There should be no pressure to behave or feel a certain way over the Christmas period. If the pressure does mount, share your feelings with someone. Whilst there are a lot of closures at this time, mental-health services are still available so don’t put it off until the New Year. Taking the step of searching for help and being honest about your feelings and emotions is truly the best thing you can do for yourself, at any time of year.

Sadhbh Dunne is a qualified life coach based in Westport. She is the founder of Ember Coaching (embercoaching.ie) and can be reached at sadhbh@embercoaching.ie.