‘We have all been robbed of a very special person’

SADLY MISSED The late Regina Duffy is pictured on her wedding day in March 2018.

The late Regina Duffy Donoghue fondly remembered at funeral Mass

Edwin McGreal

“The fortitude and bravery that Regina showed since first getting sick in 2011 is an inspiration to us all. We have to enjoy life, smile even though sometimes it’s hard to do so and also cry if it feels right also.”
The words of Jason Donoghue at the funeral Mass of his wife Regina Duffy Donoghue (39) in St Mary’s Church, Drummin, on Friday night will undoubtedly resonate with both those who knew Regina and those who did not but rushed to support Regina and her family in their hour of need.
Regina died on December 23 after a long battle with illness. She was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in late 2018, her third cancer diagnosis since 2011. Regina’s best chance of survival was specialist treatment in New York. It was expensive, but a fundraising campaign received a phenomenal response.
The treatment was undertaken, but despite the best wishes of so many, it was not as successful as everyone hoped it would be, and Regina passed away surrounded by family just before Christmas.
“If love could have saved you, you would still be alive,” said Regina’s sister Adele in a heartfelt eulogy at the Funeral Mass. “You really were an inspiration to so many people, the way you rolled with the punches and never let your spirit be dimmed,” added Adele.
‘My rock’
Huge crowds attended the Funeral Mass on Friday, with the church in Drummin packed beyond capacity and a couple of hundred more mourners congregated in a marquee outside.
Mass was celebrated by Most Reverend Fintan Monahan, Bishop of Killaloe, who married Regina and Jason in March, 2018. Jason, from Tuam, conveyed his sense of loss but also his feelings of gratitude.
“She loved her family foremost. She was proud of her siblings, adored her niece and nephews and was proud to be a Duffy.
“When I met Regina back in 2014 I was the luckiest man on Earth. She wasn’t just my girlfriend, she was my rock, my inspiration and life partner.
“Regina would walk to the end of the Earth for you if you showed her kindness and respect … We have all been robbed of a very special person.
“I ask myself and all the time, why did Regina deserve all the sickness she had over the years? You try and find the answers and come up empty. Every one of us here has been touched by tragedy in one way or another, but when it strikes, especially to someone so young and full of life, it’s hard to fathom.
“The outpouring of support for us over the last year has been fantastic. We can’t thank people enough for your generosity, kindness and messages of support. Regina was absolutely overwhelmed with it all, but she deserved it, she would be the first person to help someone else in need.
“Even though Regina and I only got to enjoy married life for a short period of time, it’ll be a time I never forget. She meant the world to me and to everyone who knew her. I was so privileged on the tenth of March 2018 to call Regina my wife. She looked beautiful and we had such a fantastic day with all our friends,” said Jason.

Loving sister
In her eulogy, Adele Duffy said she and Regina were ‘sisters by chance but friends by choice’.
“This pain is the price I have to pay for the love we shared, yet I wouldn’t trade our fantastic time together to avoid the pain. I know Regina loved me, and she knew I loved her because we regularly told each other so. A few weeks ago in New York when she was quite sick, I said to her one night, ‘You know I love you’. She looked at me so earnestly. ‘How could you not?’ came her reply.”
She recalled some fond and funny childhood memories.
“We enjoyed a happy childhood and had lots of fun together. Well, it was mostly fun. I once accidentally tripped Regina and broke her two front teeth. She forgave me though, because now, 30 years later, she rarely mentioned it more than once a week. I blame the accident on the widescreen, high-definition, Western Health Board-issue glasses we both wore. At night, when we were supposed to be sleeping, we would play ‘shop’. However, the shop often closed unexpectedly when Regina’s laughing alerted Mum or Dad to the fact that we were still wide awake.”
Regina was, Adele told the congregation, ‘witty and funny and full of love’ with an ‘irrepressible lust for life’. She spoke of a sister who was ‘always fit and active, sporty and tough as nails’, who was ‘a talented footballer’ who ‘loved mountain climbing’ and ran five marathons.
“Her relatively short life was blighted by three significant instances of ill health. The first, in 2011, hardly caused her to flinch. It didn’t cross her mind that she wouldn’t recover, such was her positivity and her mettle. There was always a fear of a recurrence, though she wasn’t consumed by it and she certainly didn’t let it interfere with her busy, active life.
“In 2014, the day she had feared arrived. This time her diagnosis caused her slightly more concern. But she faced it head on. She was, as always, practical and highly organised. The night before major surgery, she left me all sorts of instructions in the event that she didn’t survive. But she bounced back yet again. Sadly, her diagnosis last year changed everything. But as proof of how fabulous and courageous Regina was, she came home that evening, got dressed up and went to her staff Christmas party.
“Fr John (Kenny) said to me when Mum died that I now have a friend in Heaven. It’s unfathomable that, just three years later, I now have another one. I pray that the two of ye will provide support for the dark times ahead.
“I am so sorry for you that you had to suffer so much. You told me recently not to be sad for you if things didn’t work out, as you’d had a full life. And you certainly did pack a lot into your wonderful life. While it is of some comfort that you felt that way, it is impossible to not feel sad that you still had dreams that will now never be fulfilled. And I also feel that I’ve been robbed of the pleasure of spending many more years having fun with you, my lovely sister. You used to say that every day may not be wonderful, but there’s something wonderful in every day. You were the something wonderful in most of my days.”

Musical memories
In his opening words, Bishop Fintan Monahan spoke of Regina’s ‘short but wonderful life’ and her ‘brave battle’ with ill health.
The concelebrating priests were Fr John Kenny, Fr Brendan Kilcoyne, Fr Joe Feeney, Fr Gerard Quirke, Fr MicheΡl Mac Gréil, SJ and Fr Charlie McDonnell, who preached the homily.
At the start of the Mass, Regina’s favourite singer, SeΡn Keane, whose CD was played in her final days at her bedside, sang three songs. He sang the first with Regina’s brother Patrick.
Following the funeral Mass, the cortege departed then for Shannon Crematorium.
Predeceased by her mother Julia, Regina is sadly missed by her husband, Jason; father, MicheΡl; sister, Adele; brothers, Martin and Patrick; brother-in-law and sisters-in-law; niece and nephews; relatives and a large circle of friends.