Storm in a teacup

Councillors brew up a storm in a teacup

Áine Ryan

WOW! But were we cynical press corps lured into a false dawn by those cute Ballina town councillors at last week’s monthly meeting. Each one of the cross-party battalion dripped with saccharine sweetness as they – and rightly so – eulogised on the legacy of outgoing Director of Services, Seamus Granahan. Never was the undercover of a pothole more needed for the mortified manager.
It being a mere month away from St Valentine’s Day, the gals even took to some acrobatic eyelash fluttering (Cllr Mary Kelly missed out due to an unavoidable temporary absence).  “I’m heartbroken,” pined a distraught Cllr Frances Andrew. “You’re so special and intelligent,” said the Fianna Fáil councillor.
Echoing her scented soliloquy, Cllr Mulherin confirmed she was experiencing the same  blushing emotions. On a more serious note, she also observed that Mr Granahan had never been divisive and had always driven projects forward based on goals rather than personal influences. “You have never been a parochial sort of person but rather you have always had vision,” she said. 
Meanwhile, the brave boys gravely spewed out such sober endearments as ‘very honest’, ‘hard-working’, ‘what’s Ballina’s loss is Castlebar’s gain’.
Come to think of it though, Cllr Mark Winters may have got a hint of the female fever when he opined: “As somebody said earlier, we could even name a street after you. We might even rename Pearse Street.”
As the chorus of paeans faded, the County Council’s Head of Finance, Mr Peter Duggan, addressed the scintillating subject of the ‘County Demand’. And, if he shocked councillors with his revelation that Ballina was the source of 20 per cent of the county’s Fire Service call-outs, even though its population is just over eight per cent, there wasn’t even a raised eyebrow. Neither was there a hint of a nervous tic when he revealed that Ballina was home to 25 per cent of the county’s library members.
Of course, the PR punchline came next. “This shows a significant gap between the consumption of services and the four per cent County Demand,” said the fiscal watchdog. However, he was soon reminded by Cllr Johnnie O’Malley that he had effectively been invited along to justify ‘the value-for-money’ the Town Council gleans from the annual stipend to the County Council. 
At this juncture, it is important to note that the uncharacteristic calm continued when Cllr Mulherin, in response, addressed the subject of ‘another County Demand’: new water and sewerage charges – not alluded to by Mr Duggan – which she argued will prove ‘astronomical’ and lead to protests. Talk about the calm before the storm.
It wasn’t until the agenda reached a most inoffensive – but morally compelling – notice of motion, that all hell broke loose. There was roaring. There was shouting. There were civil war political barbs. There was verbal pandemonium. Why? Ask Cllr Johnnie O’Malley.
Cllr Mulherin had flagrantly flouted Standing Orders by re-introducing a motion about road safety outside St Muredach’s College, which she had proposed three minutes before the end of the last Council meeting in December, thus precluding members from debating it again. Charles Stuart Parnell would have turned in his grave at the accusations of filibustering levelled at the Fine Gael legal eagle. Luckily, the judicial forthrightness of Mayor Pádraig Moore ultimately saved the day and allowed the debate continue, as the chamber became becalmed again.