INTERVIEW: Mayo woman Margaret Loftus Rouse on her fight for justice

For a long time, all she had was her name.

LAST week her name was spoken on every news bulletin, at Leader’s Questions in the Dáil and on Prime Time on RTÉ One television, with her courage being universally praised.

The Pollavaddy native tells The Mayo News she feels she has been gaslighted not only by the judicial system but also An Garda Síochána, the institution she had been so proud to join.

Suspended sentence

Earlier this month, her ex-husband Trevor Bolger (48) was given a three-month suspended sentence after he pleaded guilty to the Section 2 assault that occurred in her childhood bedroom, just outside Balla in 2012.

The decision by the Director of Prosecutions to make a plea deal and drop the more serious charges of threats to kill and coercion along with what the Taoiseach has described as “extraordinary” length of time have cut through to the national consciousness.

READ MORE: Garda who assaulted Mayo wife gets suspended sentence

In the ten days since the sentence, her story has been the focus of Leader’s Questions in the Dáil, with each of the political party leaders raising her case, and a high-profile RTÉ Prime Time interview.

“The biggest shock for me is that I wake up after Prime Time and suddenly the whole country understands the situation overnight, ” Margaret says, “But it has taken me 14 years to get that primetime interview.”

The surreal quality persists. “That’s why, when I sit with you and tell you this, it’s so weird for me for people to now believe this. I’ve been living this and it is horrendous.”

‘I still have my battle gear on’

Following the 14-year ordeal that Margaret describes as being worse than the abuse itself. “The current system, particularly for sexual assaults and domestic violence―it’s the victim who’s on trial. That’s the way the system is built. Every part of their lives is brought up to see if there’s anything they could use to somehow discredit the story.”

The irony isn’t lost on her that we’re meeting on a day when protests about similar issues are happening in Dublin. “There was a time going through all this process that the only thing that I had was my name. And I had every angle coming to discredit me, to intimidate me, to harass me, to do everything they possibly could to break me as a person. And all I had was my name.”

Even now, after the guilty plea and public outcry, she struggles to process the response. “A friend of mine texted me last night. She says, ‘Oh my God, you must be so proud of yourself this evening.’ But I’ve been in fight-battle mode, and I haven’t let that guard down yet. I came out of court the last day ready to go into another 13-year battle, and I still have my battle gear on.

“Then I’m like, ‘Oh God, I don’t need to. I can probably relax a little bit.’ But that hasn’t hit me yet. So being proud has not at all landed with me. I feel quite numb.”

Pride at joining the force

MARGARET’S journey to An Garda Síochána began with idealism. Growing up, she was inspired by a book about the Shaw and Evans murders investigative work―the story of how gardaí solved a murder case that gripped the nation. “I was just so intrigued at investigating, about being curious and getting to the truth, and also the roles the gardaí played in that. It just really landed with me.”

At her passing out ceremony, she received a special award for outstanding achievement―one person selected from 274 in her class. “Both my parents [Michael and Martina] and sisters were at that graduation, and I got awarded by the then Justice Minister, Brian Lenihan. It was a huge day, and I felt so proud of myself.”

Margaret Loftus Rouse receiving the Templemore Town Council Medal at the Garda graduations ceremony at Templemore Garda College in 2008 (Pic: Sean Curtin Press 22)

“I enjoyed every minute of my job, and I did my job to the very best of my abilities,” she says. “Any person that ever worked with me would say something very similar. To have this whole organisation be weaponised and used against me in my own quest for justice was really hard to process.”

READ The Mayo News article from 2008 about Margaret receiving the award here - Balla garda honour

She pauses, choosing her words carefully. “If you look up gaslighting in domestic violence and read it, it resonates with the experience that I was having―but in an institutional setting.”

The Impact on Family

“I can’t express enough how thankful I am to my father, Michael Loftus, because he gave me the strength that I needed.”

Her father and siblings have stood firmly behind her throughout and the weight of what her family endured is something Margaret still carries. “It had as much impact on my family as it had on me, which is really hard, because I feel really responsible for bringing him into their lives. They had no control over that. They didn’t choose to have him in their circle but they bore the brunt of that, and that’s hard.”

Margaret Loftus Rouse with her father Michael on her wedding day to Hugh Rouse in 2018

She knows from experience that sometimes watching is harder than living it. “I know it’s easier to be the person than the person looking in. If my sisters were in this situation, I would find it harder to watch them go through it than to go through it myself.”

“The frustration to see that the organisation and the system that I had worked so hard for and that I really believed in was being completely used against us―they all lost complete and utter trust in the Garda organisation.”

Finding Freedom

TODAY, Margaret has rebuilt her life. She’s remarried to Hugh, who she credits with showing her what a healthy relationship looks like. “I had learned through my previous relationship to predict and go through every consequence of what I’d say before I said it. The smallest things would trigger my ex. Every time I spoke, I would already have gone through every response in my mind and the consequences before I said it.”

Learning to unlearn that survival mechanism took time. “It took me a long time to be able to just speak freely. I can say anything I want verbally to him and not have to worry. It’s so free in our relationship. We have very meaningful disagreements verbally. And it’s so refreshing to live completely true to yourself.”

“I live a very happy life. I’m very fulfilled. I have a beautiful family. I flourish, I thrive. I have very meaningful relationships in my life that I never knew I could have.”

Men must stand up

MARGARET is adamant that the burden of solving domestic violence shouldn’t fall on women alone. “It’s important for men and dads and brothers and uncles to stand up also and call out male violence. Male violence is not a women’s problem―it’s actually a men’s problem. But society has painted that it’s the women who need to fix it, because it’s their problem. It’s not. It’s the men’s problem, and they’re the ones who should be addressing their violent behavior.”

She’s quick to clarify: “Most men are non-violent. They’re a reflection of the majority of men. But it’s the minority, unfortunately, that’s killing women.”

The plea deal

PERHAPS nothing illustrates the brokenness of the system from a victim’s perspective more than the plea deal itself. As it was a criminal trial, it is the State, through the Director of Public Prosecutions (DPP), who decides which charges to pursue or not pursue.

The victims in criminal trials are witnesses to the case and have no say in which charges are brought in the case.

In June, the Garda investigation team came to her house from Dublin and asked her thoughts on a proposed deal where her abuser Trevor Bolger would plead guilty to a section two assault.

“I got really upset. And I told them it was insulting.” But then came the revelation: “At the end of that meeting, they told me that actually the plea deal had already been met, and that I actually had no say in it whatsoever. So I did ask them, “Why do you want my thoughts on a decision that’s not my decision to make?”

The technical absurdity is stark. “The irony of this is he couldn’t get charged with section two assaults because they’re all statute-barred. So he was allowed to plead to a charge that he could never have been charged with because it was statute-barred at the time the investigation took place. The plea deal itself creates a lot of questions about the legality.”

The charges of threats to kill and coercive control―which carry significantly longer sentences―were struck out. It took 55 court appearances before he entered a guilty plea.

‘Real concerns’ over dropped charges

The Taoiseach expressed his ‘real concerns’ at the lesser charge granted by the plea deal and the length of time that it has taken for the case to progress.

He also commended Margaret’s ‘courage’ and said, that “we applaud her strength, resilience and showing that no matter who the perpetrator is, those engaged in domestic violence will be investigated and will be prosecuted.”

It remains to be seen if Trevor Bolger will be allowed to remain as a member of An Garda Síochána, with an internal Garda review due to rule on the matter.

When the Taoiseach referenced the Charleton inquiry, Margaret felt fear rather than hope.

She is clear that she would not be in favour of an inquiry into how her case was dealt with: “An inquiry means that they are buying themselves time. He didn’t say this will go to an inquiry, but an inquiry comes to mind in a situation like this. The last thing that I need in my life right now is a man in power standing in front of me trying to tell me the truth. I know my truth. I know my experience.”

Her suggestion is pointed: “An inquiry can cost the state between one and ten million. I would much prefer if he signed that amount in a check and handed it over to the Mayo Women’s Support Services. Because I know my truth. I know what has happened here. I know it’s wrong. I do not need them to spend millions for someone else to also say, ‘Yeah, this is wrong.’”

Censored Victim

EVEN her victim impact statement wasn’t truly hers. “Up until minutes before I read that out, he was censoring that victim impact statement. I didn’t know that the perpetrator gets to censor the victim impact statement before it’s read out.”

One paragraph he demanded to be removed was particularly telling―where she thanked her family and apologised for bringing him into their lives. “The charge before the court stemmed from an incident where I spoke to my family in a pub. And here we are, over a decade later, and he’s still controlling how I speak about my family.”

She was given a choice ten minutes before reading the statement: remove the paragraph or let a judge decide. “The way this had played out for me already, I wasn’t willing to take the risk. If the judge had sided with him, I would never be able to publicly thank my family ever again. The way it is now, I can publicly thank them on any type of platform that I want to.”

Margaret Loftus Rouse with three of her sisters at the Garda graduations ceremony at Templemore Garda College in 2008

The plea deal also meant that allegations that Bolger made threats to kill previously and that he exerted coercive control were never tested in court. This has meant that Margaret Loftus is legally constrained to only being able to speak about the assault that Bolger was convicted of.

Highlighting the importance of the coercive control legislation, Labour Party Leader Ivana Bacik told the Dáil that she was “proud to work with other women senators and TDs with Women’s Aid , Safe Ireland and others to introduce the offence of coercive control into our law, because violence in intimate settings is rarely one single blow. It tends to constitute patterns of domination, of fear and of control.”

Speaking based on her professional experience as a Garda, Ms Loftus explains that “I have never, ever, ever gone to a domestic violence incident where it was the first and one and only incident. I have never experienced, and I wouldn’t say any guard in the country has an experience of, a woman coming to them after just one isolated assault by an intimate partner.”

Her experience as a Garda informs this perspective.

‘Silence will only ever protect the abusers’

“I urge anyone who is a victim of domestic violence, particularly perpetrated by a member of An Garda Síochána or otherwise, to please come forward. Silence will only ever protect the abusers.”

When Margaret says “silence will only ever protect abusers,” it comes from lived experience. But she’s also nuanced in her understanding. “I also do want to honour the women right now whose silence is the only thing that’s keeping them alive. I do want them to know that I do see them, and I do hear them, and I don’t perceive their silence as protecting their abuser. I absolutely had to be silent for a long time to protect myself.”

But she’s realistic about the challenges. The gag order that was initially placed on the case was only lifted after media outlets hired a law firm to fight it. The plea deal that diminished the charges. The censored victim impact statement. All of it points to a system that, in her words, is “as damaging as the abuse itself.”

Yet Margaret Loftus stands here today―not broken, but unbowed. She walked out of court expecting another 13-year battle to fix the system, only to find that the country had finally caught up to what she’d been saying all along.

“Everyone’s holding up their hands,” she says of the political response. “That was the shock factor for me.”

Whether that shock translates into meaningful change remains to be seen. But Margaret has already done what she set out to do all those years ago when she joined An Garda Síochána: she sought the truth, and she helped people see it.

All she had was her name. And in the end, that was enough.