OPINION: Life is flying by, from a distance

WHEN I was in my teens I scoffed at adults who would speak about life passing by in the blink of an eye. I thought they were exaggerating the passage of time, but as the years passed I have changed my mind and now hear myself trotting out the same quote.
Life actually does pass by in a flash and as the years clock up, that process seems to get faster and faster. Moments, memories and the ups and downs of life often blend into a multi-coloured, multi-faceted collage that is locked away in the back of the head for possible retrieval in the future.
However, most of the time, we never go back to those memories, because life just keeps churning out new ones; therefore the moments which meant so much to us at one stage rarely find time and space in our thought process.
That said, it doesn’t take a lot to relive happy times. Recently, I spent an hour with some old football friends and we were immediately transported back to days when we stood shoulder to shoulder for the love of place. We had never sat together and spoken collectively about those great adventures, so when we did the result was heartwarming.
The same can be said about the building blocks of social interaction in rural Ireland when we were younger.
Last week, my wife Martina and I attended the wake of a very fine man. Tommy O’Malley had been a neighbour of Martina’s in her youth and was so welcoming and hospitable to me when I arrived on the scene as a young fella.
It was only when we visited the O’Malley homestead last Tuesday evening that we realised that we hadn’t properly spoken with Tommy or his family for more than 20 years. Later, as we drove away into the night, we spoke about how little face-to-face interaction there is these days. We see one another’s pictures and comments on Facebook or see one another’s opinions on X, but we don’t actually meet and talk about the real things of life. 
That was so different when I was younger. We didn’t have social media, we didn’t have messaging, we didn’t even have a phone, but we knew people in a real sense. I knew the people in my community, I knew my cousins in other parts of Ireland and all across the world – I actually knew them. I was aware of their challenges and achievements, of their day-to-day lives, and we were on hand to help one another in any way we could.
This morning, I have already learned that one of my Canadian cousins was at the races yesterday and won a few dollars on the horses; one of my childhood friends was playing darts and another is looking for recommendations for a plumber. This information is wonderful and an excellent way of keeping some contact, but it’s all at arm’s length; there’s no warmth or real interaction. There’s no tangible fabric to it.
We seem to exist behind a barrier where we can observe one another from a distance. We’ve never had more people around us, but I’m not sure people have ever been lonelier or more isolated.
Long gone are the days of the regular meitheal approach to tasks, and that’s such a pity. If I have an out-of-the-ordinary task to do, I have to do it myself, because there’s really nobody I can ask to help. Everyone is so invested in their own lives, and so ‘busy’, there is no opportunity to stop and help someone else. It’s sad, but that’s the way life is for many people. I wish it were different.
We have never been so connected, but we have never been further apart. Throw in the fact that life flies by, and there are times when one just wants to shout ‘stop’ or maybe employ a time-machine to travel to a moment when there was a greater sense of togetherness around all of us.
However, the fact that our youngest daughter smiles at my silliness when I tell her that life passes by in a flash just illustrates the never-ending circle of life. The more things change, the more they remain the same.