Meath man wins in Mayo

Dempsey sets the pace


Edwin McGreal

They let the Meath man home first. Minister for Transport Noel Dempsey said in Tiernaur that he would struggle on the bike ride into Mulranny but, about half an hour later, he was in a breakaway group at the front.
There were whispers that he had been driven to within a mile of the finish before hopping on his bike while the mere mortals cycled the whole way.
Surely a Meath man wouldn’t use such a dark art?
We’re probably being unfair. Maybe he was the fittest man there. After all he had an extended holiday over the Christmas to recharge his batteries.
Or maybe the locals were being cute?
“I didn’t think when I was leaving Croke Park in 1996 that I’d ever be welcoming a Meath man to Mayo,” said local councillor Michael Holmes, in reference to the infamous Mayo GAA defeat to Meath. “But anytime you come to Mayo with this kind of funding, we’ll welcome you, no matter where you’re from.”
Ah! It becomes clear now - let him win the little race and he might give us more money. You couldn’t be up to those wide men from Mulranny and Tiernaur.
Although Michael Holmes did leave himself wide open before the cycle started when he spun a white lie about the stunning sunshine last Friday.
“For anyone that isn’t from here or familiar with these parts, the weather is like this here since Christmas so come back anytime and you’ll get great weather.”
Noel Dempsey saw the door open and thundered through it like Tommy Dowd in his pomp.
“I was going to announce here today €300,000 relief for roads that were damaged by landslides and bad weather but I will shift that into Westport because, according to Michael, there is never any bad weather here at all.”
But Dempsey was speaking in jest of course and he was still joking after the cycle ended. But three political colleagues weren’t - Minister of State Dara Calleary, Achill councillor MicheΡl McNamara and Mayo County Council Cathaoirleach John Cribbin all must have been cursing their decision to wear suits on a day for shorts and a t-shirt.
Noel Dempsey was more suitably dressed so maybe that explains why he was so fresh at the end. Or maybe the cunning Meath man skipped most of the journey to look his best for the cameras and have the last laugh.