Welcomes, Botox and artistic license

HOLDING COURT
Minister Michael Ring has everyone entertained while he talks during the opening panel discussion at Westport Town Hall Theatre on Friday last. Also pictured, from left: Mary Kennedy (MC), Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Anna Marie Delaney, Chief Executive, Offaly County Council.
Pic: Conor McKeown

Sketch
Edwin McGreal

A warm Friday afternoon in July and Westport was looking its finest.
The streets were busy with locals and tourists alike as Taoiseach Leo Varadkar and Minister for Agriculture and the Marine Michael Creed arrived.
Waiting to welcome them was proud local Minister Michael Ring. The reason for the visit of the nation’s leader was a forum on ‘Creating Stronger Rural Economies and Communities’.
Westport looked very much like a poster-child for such growth, as part of the Project Ireland 2040 national development plan.
With its various tidy towns awards and Best Town to Live in Ireland accolade, Westport was a place to be envious of, said Michael Creed in the Town Hall.
So fulsome was the praise that Michael Ring was getting worried. Westport was being described as almost a west of Ireland nirvana and this was problematic for the minister.
“I don’t want to say everything is perfect in Westport or we’ll get no more funding,” quipped the minister. “We have problems too.”
But he was right, even if he might not like to admit it. Right outside a protest took place by the Murrisk water group, who are waiting an age to get a proper water supply.
No doubt a visit to Westport in the winter would also reveal to the Taoiseach an altogether quieter town centre, without the high-summer influx of tourists. But there is little doubt that Westport’s collaborative approach across recent decades is something many other towns can learn from.
The purpose of the forum taking place was to go into detail about the €1 billion Rural Regeneration and Development Fund.
It’s an ambitious programme which will be administered by Minister Ring’s Department of Rural and Community Development. The local minister praised the Taoiseach for creating the first ministry for Rural and Community Affairs.
“And I think you made a very wise choice,” he added with a smile.

Who is using Botox?
He went on to praise the work done by Allergan in a forum which was hosted by Mary Kennedy of RTÉ’s Nationwide fame.
“Botox is going all around the world from Westport,” he told Mary Kennedy.
“Absolutely,” she exclaimed, to widespread laughter in the audience.
“Well you don’t need it,” replied the newly appointed Minister for Charm.
The Taoiseach himself addressed the audience at the outset. We received his script afterwards and so were able to see he went very much off script when talking about a painting in the Taoiseach’s office.
Right behind his desk is a picture painted by renowned early 20th century Irish artist Paul Henry.
It was, the Taoiseach told us, called Into the West he was ‘pretty sure’ it depicts ‘the mountains as you drive into Westport from Castlebar’. He told us that the painting was put there by his predecessor, Enda Kenny, most likely to remind him of his native Mayo.
“I have it there for a different reason, to remind me that I am Taoiseach for the whole country and every time I walk into my office and sit at my desk, I see that painting.”
A few problems with all of that. Firstly the painting in question is called ‘In the West of Ireland’ and, according to a source who knows a thing or two about Paul Henry paintings, is most likely to depict Doolough Valley and certainly not the view of Croagh Patrick from the N5.
It is quite unfortunate that the piece of art the Taoiseach uses to remind himself he is Taoiseach of the whole country, he has not the foggiest idea where the painting depicts. Perhaps a few more trips west are in order.
We’re sure Michael Ring would gladly bring him for a hike up Croagh Patrick and a ramble through Doolough Valley.
Just be careful not to drink the water in Murrisk, Taoiseach.