COLUMN: No-one shouted stop in Ballinrobe

IT has been a long week for the organisers of the Ballinrobe St Patrick’s Day parade, I imagine. Such events are built on volunteerism, with people giving freely of their time and effort to create a community event. Amidst all the controversy about the ‘Epstein Files’ float (or ‘Epstien’ depending on the side of the road on which you were standing), it is important to remember this.

It was Wednesday when the Ballinrobe video was sent to me. It took me a moment to process what I was seeing, and then it hit me. A very short clip, basically depicting a rape taking place on a bed on the back of a trailer. Men chasing women around the float. Gardai were depicted. ‘Prince Andrew goin to jail’ proclaimed a sign placard, as a man stood in a cage. All in the name of having a laugh. Some people found it funny, if the video is anything to go by. No-one shouted stop.

I really struggled to put into words my feelings of disappointment and upset to see something like this happen in my own county.

Having been involved in countless community events down the years, I know that sometimes good taste is lacking, and often, ignorance and a lack of understanding of certain issues leads to offensive displays. St Patrick’s Day parades across the country often feature ‘skits’ on current affairs, or on events that have made recent headlines. It’s doubtful that there was a parade in the country last year without an Enoch Burke or a Donald Trump. Taste levels vary, and it’s not uncommon to see crude and borderline offensive depictions of people, places and events. Blackface, for example, was a regular feature in parades until recently. And when people object, they are often told to lighten up. "It's only a bit of fun." "Everyone is so sensitive these days." "Political correctness gone mad." "Woke snowflakes."

READ MORE: 'There must be accountability' - Mayo Rape Crisis Centre reacts to Epstein Files float

Perhaps we should just stick to céilí dancing on the back of trucks.

First off, being called woke is never an insult - it is a compliment and something to which people should aspire - and the greatest snowflakes in our midst are usually the people who behave badly and then throw tantrums when called out on their actions. But that’s for another column.

Let’s look instead at why this float upset people. To some of us, it seems obvious, but for many others, it is important to remember that misogyny is often so culturally ingrained and even internalised that we don't instantly recognise it as such, until we stop and think about it. It is sometimes hard to identify these depictions of toxic patriarchy, rape culture and male violence against women, because it is all around us, every day. One float in a parade in Ballinrobe does not represent Ballinrobe. It represents the Irish society in which we live and the culture that surrounds us.

I cannot recall a single day where my news app has been free of a court report involving a violent assault on a woman, a rape, or child sexual abuse. These most horrific of crimes are completely normalised. The (long overdue) Sexual Violence Survey 2022, the second of its kind in Ireland, showed that 40 percent of adults had experienced sexual violence at least once in their lifetime. Women (52 percent) experienced much higher levels of sexual violence in their lifetime than men (28 per cent). 65 per cent of women aged 18-24 reported sexual violence experienced in their lifetime. Often, this violence takes place within the home, the place in which we are meant to be safest.

Therefore, statistically, many women in Ballinrobe watching that parade will have experienced sexual violence. How must they have felt? Many people use humour to process trauma – but that is on their own terms. Why should we not be furious to see this evil, this trauma mocked in the streets on our national holiday? Why should we not be extra furious to see so few men visibly objecting?

Our culture supports sexual violence. Read the comments. Support for sports stars accused of rape. Character witnesses for rapists. Men defending violent men. Men and women casting aspersions on people who have been violently assaulted – just ask Nikita Hand. In my lifetime, marital rape was legal. Gardaí - also in this county – openly made rape jokes on tape. Recently, Margaret Loftus has bravely exposed the culture that protects men in power who have committed violent crimes. Women, every single day, are reminded that we are not allowed to feel safe just living our lives. On any normal day, we are constantly on alert to risk, because it is endemic. It is also exhausting.

Neither rape nor paedophilia are laughing matters, particularly not in a country where conviction percentages are tiny and victims who are brave enough to seek justice through the courts are consistently re-traumatised and treated like criminals themselves, if they even get that far.

My hope is that the people involved in this incident - both male and female – will put aside their inevitable defensiveness and choose humility and an opportunity to learn. That they will reflect on how their actions may have affected survivors. That they will accept how 'skits' like this contribute to a culture where violent, life-altering crimes like rape are systemically tolerated and trivialised. That they will commit to taking steps to educate themselves.

Mayo Rape Crisis Centre – disclaimer: I am a board member - issued a statement last week which acknowledged the opportunity for communities – not just in Ballinrobe, but across the county – to respond constructively. As well as offering free, confidential support to all survivors of sexual violence, the Centre is available and has offered to work with local organisations, groups, and individuals who want to feel more informed, safe and empowered in responding to sexual violence or disclosures of same.

Let’s hope if nothing else that the people who really need to can take up this opportunity to learn, to prioritise empathy over pride, and embrace the challenge to be better.