Name: Keith “Wizard” Joyce
Club: Kilmeena Age: 24
Occupation: Pole Dancer
Best thing about playing for the club?
The craic with the lads you wouldn’t normally talk to – Keavo and Eddie Smoorebart.
Best thing about social distancing?
Escaping the Grodie-lock (but I still get caught in it). Paul has a unique way of locking you into conversations after a few pints.
Worst thing about social distancing?
Trying to avoid the Grodie-lock.
Best thing about wearing a mask?
I don’t know but Stephen Staunton would want to start ironing his.
What’s your guilty pleasure TV show?
Ice road truckers.
Which three celebrity guests would you invite over for a party?
Jonathan Walters, Roy Keane and Mickey Carney.
What’s your most prized possession at the moment?
My miraculous medal.
One old match you’d love to watch back?
The one where I kicked 1-2 from play.
First thing you’ll do when Covid restrictions are scrapped?
Have a fundraiser for Paul Groden. I cannot say why, but it will be to address his lack of hair.
County player you’d most like to room with?
Mayo Masters legend Pat Mulchrone.
Favourite post-match meal and drink?
Danollas and candy shake (Kinder Bueno).
Favourite song to get ‘up’ for a match?
Anything from Garth Brooks.
Best advice you ever got?
Don’t put Smoore on wet ground or you’ll have to tow him out again.
Last time you cried?
When I nearly didn’t get Garth Brooks tickets.
Sum up winning a Connacht Final in three words?
Class, class, class!