Still no sign of lost teeth

A story to really get your teeth into


Edwin McGreal

CONGRATULATIONS to The Mayo News readers who were sharp enough to spot three April Fools jokes we played in last week’s edition. However, those of you who might think there were four such tales were off the mark.
But it is hard to blame readers who speculated that a story about lost teeth must have been a send-up.
The Local Notes section in last week’s paper included the following item: “Lost teeth. A set of teeth were recently lost on Bridge Street in Westport. If found, please contact Mayo News Box Number 2168, otherwise the owner, who has just returned to GAA training, will have to re-mould his gumshield.”
True story. We pride ourselves on bringing you the news that matters. And ‘lost teeth’ has gone viral since. It was picked up by popular websites Balls.ie and Joe.ie and took off on Twitter and Facebook.
And in our efforts to bring you the latest news on this ever-developing story, we’ve managed to secure an exclusive interview with the toothless wonder.
It is none other than Kilmeena football legend Joe Ryan. The experienced Ryan, one of the best-known forwards in West Mayo in the last 20 years, came out of retirement this year, but his most urgent priority is new teeth. Despite all the attention, he hasn’t recovered the lost set and so he has been ‘fitted out’ with a new set.
In the meantime he has become even more of a cult celebrity locally.
“It’s mad how it has taken off,” admitted Joe. “I didn’t think so many people would be concerned for my teeth!”
Joe is a regular in Toby’s Bar in Westport, and some time ago, the good folk in Toby’s set up a collection for new teeth for Joe, partly in jest. But this time it has taken off for real and patrons of Toby’s have thrown plenty of money into the pot.
So if you’re a Parke corner back when Kilmeena come to town next Saturday and you see a toothless wonder walking towards you, don’t be afraid. Well, until the dazzling forward gets the ball, that is.