A nation living through every family’s worst nightmare

A nation living through every family’s worst nightmare


ONE cannot imagine what the parents of the Berkeley victims are going through this week. Death, even in its most natural form, on the frail shoulders of a life well lived, is a difficult thing to process.
But in this instance, when the lives of so many were taken so suddenly and so cruelly in their prime, words fail to convey the sense of injustice and shock on the families and friends left behind.
A child taken before its time is an unspeakable loss for any parent. There is no remedy that can compensate for such a tragedy and when a young life leaves so suddenly, a trail of misery and anguish remains in its wake.
Victims of grief often recall an experience of living on autopilot in the immediate aftermath of a sudden tragedy; where subconscious actions allow them to make the necessary funeral arrangements and move through the motions, without truly being cognoscente of the reality of what has happened.
The comfort from friends and fellow mourners in the days and weeks following an unexpected death can sometimes help to cushion the blow. Duty is a distraction and where there are jobs to be done and decisions to be made, however harrowing, the mind is best kept occupied.
Reality hits when the crowd eventually drifts away. It is often said that the bereavement
process only truly begins when those left behind are alone with their thoughts. When silence drowns out the extended sympathies, sadness and grief hit home.

Unexpected
The six students tragically killed in Berkeley two weeks ago should have been experiencing the joys and excitement of travel and exploration. New places, unfamiliar faces and the buzz and fervour of forging a temporary life away from the nest must have danced through their thoughts as they left Ireland at the beginning of the summer. They had every reason for excitement and optimism.
For them, California represented an escape to the possibility of the unplanned; thousands of miles from home and a small taste of the freedom that adulthood provides. Nobody could have foreseen how such an exciting journey would end in unspeakable tragedy.
I wonder how many times over this past week the thoughts of their parents drifted back to that last goodbye. In the hugs, kisses and inevitable soft tears at a child flying away for the summer, none could have imagined that this would be the last time for contact or physical interaction of any form.

Shame on The New York Times
This has been every parents worst nightmare. It is doubtful that any of the families of those killed would have had the time or the wherewithal to read the New York Times disgusting description of Irish students on working visas in the United States which followed.
That the piece was ill-informed, poorly constructed and wholly inaccurate should have been flagged up by editorial staff long before it was ever sent to print. But to publish the article in the aftermath of such an horrific tragedy was obscene and grotesque in equal measure. The newspaper’s subsequent attempt at an apology only further compounded the pain and disgust of those grieving for their loved ones.
One has to question how the editorial standards of one of the most respected newspaper publications could have allowed itself to sink so low. My only conclusion upon reading the article was that the author had something against Ireland or the Irish. There could have been no other reasonable logic for writing such hateful rhetoric.
The New York Times has undoubtedly suffered irreversible damage among many disgusted readers on this island and I for one will be loath to pick up a copy again.
For the bereaved families left behind, theirs is the unenviable task of attempting to pick up the pieces of their lives and moving on. Just as they must be struggling to make sense of this all, so too the path that lies ahead will seem littered with uncertainty.
And how does one even contemplate moving on from the loss of a child? Thankfully it is a question I am unfit to answer.
The unstoppable life clock rests for no one and for these grieving hearts, the baggage of grief will eventually lighten. For a parent of a lost child, such knowledge is of scant consolation.
The funerals of Olivia Burke, Eoghan Culligan, Niccolai Schuster, LorcΡn Miller, Ashley Donohoe and Eimear Walsh took place last week. I hope it will be a long, long time before Ireland is ever faced with such a horrific tragedy again.
May they all rest in peace.