MUSINGS The dangers of bed

Creeks, cramps and creepy dreams


Sonia Kelly

I don’t know if bed is normally regarded as a dangerous place, but in my case it certainly is so. In fact, from one day to the next I never know what state I’m going to be in when daylight comes.
For one thing, although lying down may mostly be considered a fairly safe position, for me, unless I exercise the utmost diligence, it can result in paralysis. This is because of a dodgy hip. It was replaced years ago, but now needs a refit so, although starting the night stretched out flat, a deviation to the right followed by sleep pressurises the joint, causing extreme pain, so I wake and turn on the opposite side – a fatal move, which can result in actual dislocation and the onset of paralysis. Unless it clicks back …
If I’m lucky, it does and I’m onto my back again. But – ouch! – now there’s a cramp in my foot. Can’t straighten it, however I move it, until eventually the agony subsides.
Hopefully with limbs now in alignment, some more sleep is on the cards. And this happens briefly – until a violent attack of pins and needles in the fingers, that have previously been numbed by a broken wrist, disturbs me abruptly once more.
Also to contend with is the wobble factor. This is something that crept up on me at the time of the wrist-factor when I fell over while trapped inside a jersey. It seems that if the sight of an ageing person is blocked, overbalance ensues. So obviously darkness blocks one’s sight and makes me fill like I’m falling, even when stretched out prone.
It can be hard to get to sleep again after such setbacks occur. For some reason, after such times my brain is flooded with negative thoughts – there seems nothing positive in my life, past, present or future.
If – IF – sleep does return, it can included a period in the land of dreams. Now, dreams are said to reflect the state of one’s emotions, to comment on one’s current activities and relationships. For years, I have had a recurrent dream of trying to avoid floods in one way or another. And most of the people who appear in my nocturnal imaginings are complete strangers. These dreams seem to be unrelated to anything, unless they mean that I will finally be engulfed by disaster at the hands of a stranger.
Whatever – eight hours or so battling with these various dangers unsurprisingly creates a depressed mood come morning. But even now the bed has not finished with me, because as I go round it in the process of dressing, one of my shins comes into contact with the corner of it. It’s not a violent collision, but I know from past experience that it will result in a long purple bruise just on the front of my leg, where apparently there is nothing but inadequate skin on top of the bone.
So you could say that during just one night in bed I experienced malfunctions literally from head to toe. You might conclude it is a place the wise would avoid.