New no-holds-barred memoir charts the highs and lows of IVF

How does one judge if a book is good or not? I’m not sure. All I can write about is how a book impacts me. Last Wednesday one of my tasks was to speak with Niamh Holleran-McGing about her just-published memoir, ‘The Journey To You – A Love Story Through Infertility’.
I had a copy of the book in my possession for a week beforehand but of course the vagaries of life and work meant that it went unopened on the seat of the car. On Wednesday, just hours before our scheduled meeting I hopped into the car on my way to another engagement, saw the book and knew I’d have to scan through it so I wouldn’t be completely winging it when I met Niamh.
My eyes fell on the opening words, and eight chapters later I was still there in the car utterly engrossed in the words, the feel, the atmosphere, the reality, the struggle, the good days and bad days and so many other amazing moments in the life a woman from Clonbur, a man from Kilmaine and the journey the inseparable duo took to become a forever-trio.
Niamh’s book is a warts-and-all story of teenage sweethearts who married in their early 20s and were so excited about the next step – starting a family. However, fertility issues meant having children was going to be a battle against the odds.
Niamh, now 44, takes the reader into the very heart of that emotional rollercoaster as she and Tommy negotiated their way through the highs and lows of IVF. The searingly honest memoir lays bare the mental, physical and emotional challenges involved.
‘The Journey To You’ is a vivid account of Niamh and Tommy’s experience and a gloriously told story of their love and commitment to one another and their dreams.
On Wednesday evening, I was fortunate enough to sit in their kitchen in the starkly stunning Clonbur kingdom overlooking Lough Corrib. Their dogs, Chip and Jesse were scuttling around the place welcoming the vistor while Steve the cat was stretching himself with utter disdain for the Mayo interloper in his midst.
Niamh was bright and funny and welcoming, while Tommy quickly got tea on the go. Their teenage son, Scott, bounced through the door trying to hush Jesse’s excited barking. That moment told me everything I needed to know about the book from chapter eight onwards.
The IVF journey taken by Niamh and Tommy had resulted in the arrival of Scott into the world and the ‘happy ever after’ his existence unleashed. However, the tea, biscuits and conversation revealed so much more about the story told in Niamh’s gripping book.
The duo spoke with great honour about about all the embryos lost during their treatment. They took me to the moment they set eyes on one another in the corridors of Ballinrobe Community School and recalled that split-second in vivid and stunning detail. They knew immediately they were made for one another but didn’t actually speak for a long while afterwards. Our conversation took us through their time together in college in Cork, Tommy’s subsequent move to Chicago to train as a pilot and their incessant desire to communicate with one another.
“Every Sunday when I’d be going back to Cork Mam and Dad would give me £20 to help me out for the week. They thought I’d spend it on extra food or whatever, but I’d spend every penny of it on a phone card and would plonk myself in a phone box in Cork and talk to Tommy in Chicago until the money ran out.
“I’d be devastated when the card was finished and I’d be hoping it was raining when I came out of the phone box so that people wouldn’t notice my tears. I just missed him so much,” Niamh explained as she looked lovingly at the man who became her husband.
Now, don’t for a second think that Niamh and Tommy are some type of saccharine, starry-eyed couple floating along on the cotton-wool clouds of love. They’re anything but. They’re two powerful people sharing life’s journey and looking to help their son live his best life. The trio are in embedded in a large, loving family circle and are determined to tell their story and help others facing challenges, whether it involves infertility of another form of crisis.
Is the book good? All I can say, is it found a place in my heart. It found a niche somewhere in my psyche that accepted it with great joy. I loved it.

•   ‘The Journey To You – A Love Story Through Infertility’, published by Mayo Books, will be launched in the All Saints Heritage Centre, Clonbur, tonight (Friday), October 6, at 8pm. It will also feature in the Wild Atlantic Words Festival in the Festival Dome on Bridge St, Castlebar, on Tuesday, October 10m at 7pm, in an event hosted by broadcaster Mary Kennedy.