Virtue ruined by vice
I couldn’t believe my own ears.
A brothel in Breaffy? Never. Surely not.
Whatever about the possibility of such a ‘business’ in such dens of debauchery as Balla, Ballyvary, Islandeady and even Castlebar itself, surely us refined Breaffy people were above such improper behaviour?
After all our beautiful little village is a paragon of virtue. From once you enter Breaffy on the way out from Castlebar and leave it by crossing the Manulla River you are, of course, in a place of the highest values and standards. A place full of childish innocence. Quite like the Amish communities, without the work ethic.
Heck, we’re so pure that birds wait until they are over the river in Manulla before they evacuate their bowels. To do so in Breaffy would be wrong, even the birds know that.
It was with a heavy heart that we allowed computers and the internet into the village. Sure, there may be educational benefits but we were worried about some of the seedier elements of the world wide web having a corrosive effect on the minds of our impressionable young.
But, thankfully, they’ve been brought up well. They see vulgarity coming at them a mile off and instantly shut down the computer.
As I’ve said many times before, the trip to Castlebar is still a risky one for us. We have to go there for business but we tread warily down those illicit highways. We’ve heard stories of all sorts of illicit behaviour in that place.
So imagine our absolute shock and disgust when we hear that there was a brothel trading in downtown Breaffy. Right up in Breaffy House Hotel apartments, through the woods that encapsulate our natural beauty. It really would knock the stuffing out of you.
And imagine me, as a supposed journalist, living in the village and not knowing about this brothel until it was brought before court last week. And to make matters worse, the brothel was active right beside the gym I was attending four times a week when the house of ill-repute was active. And not a sniff of the scoop did I get.
And before any smart alecs make any suggestions, I was in the gym all of those times – check my log-in details if you don’t believe me.
But, only a few doors away the apparent oldest profession in the world was being practiced (as an aside do you not have to learn a profession in college?).
If there is one redeeming feature from this episode, it is that the ‘lady of the house’ is not local. At least it wasn’t one of our own that was corrupted and corrupting.
And I can guarantee you that no individuals from Breaffy were clients of the brothel. How can I be so sure? Because it was too bloody expensive.