The new ground regulations provoked plenty of comment
IN THE CROWD
Daniel Carey
“EXCESSIVE noise is not permitted,” the man in front of me announced with incredulity, reading from the ground regulations on page 20 of the match programme for last Sunday’s game in McHale Park. On closer inspection, rule number five appeared to be aimed at supporters carrying ‘radio sets or other appliances’ rather than those with particularly loud voices, but other regulations provoked their fair share of guffaws.
Most amusing was the well-intentioned rule two, which outlawed ‘anything which could or might be used as a weapon’. Only problem was, the list of items ‘not permitted within the ground’ included footballs. So as one wag pointed out, “This game shouldn’t be going ahead at all!”
Another fan noted with a wry smile that the prohibition on flag poles also outlined in rule two had been predicted in The Mayo News last week, albeit in an article predicated on the April 1 publication date. There was no sign of the monkey allegedly lined up to provide gland injections to the Mayo team, but then having an exotic animal inside McHale Park probably constitutes a breach of regulations too.
As well as gauging the mood among Mayo and Galway supporters, I had hoped to find one of the undercover stewards who had been placed amongst the crowd to keep an eye out for trouble. This is more difficult than it sounds, however.
After all, if you ask someone ‘Are you an undercover steward?’ and they answer ‘No’, are they telling the truth? Or are they just being good at their job? After all, someone who admits to working undercover ain’t no James Bond.
Another form of subterfuge was revealed by PA announcer Aidan Brennan, who pulled the rug from under Liam Sammon’s plan to field a shadow team worthy of his hurling counterpart Ger Loughnane. “Officially, there are no changes to the Galway side, but we’re reliably informed that number eight, Niall Coleman, is replaced by number 26, Damien Dunleavy,” the Claremorris clubman disclosed to the crowd.
His sources were impeccable. Make that man an undercover steward, I say. And if Brennan isn’t interested in donning dark glasses, maybe the GAA authorities could approach Galway sub Mark Gottsche, whose surname seems tailor-made for a sting operation. I can picture the tabloid headlines now.
The 11th hour Galway switch wasn’t the only aspect of the programme which was slightly misleading. “Hey, did you know David Heaney had transferred to Ballyhaunis?” asked one fan who spotted the words ‘Béal Átha hAmhnais’ erroneously written under the Swinford man’s name.
The same eagle-eyed Gaeilgeoir noted that the chairman’s message included a ‘fáilte … roimh gach éinne as Maigh Eo agus Ciarraí’ (sic), but added magnanimously: “I guess after all the hassle a fortnight ago, it’s as well to be nice to the Kerry people … if there are any of them here”.
Of course, the response to those events included the introduction of CCTV at McHale Park. But perhaps the most effective deterrent to those intent on causing trouble was the snow, which left most of us focusing on survival rather than throwing objects onto the field.“It’s going to be minus four tonight!” one man revealed. “God, do you think it’ll freeze?” his friend responded. “Well, if it’s going to be minus four, of course it’s going to f***ing freeze!” said the first man.
As that amusing exchange suggests, the most openly flouted regulation on Sunday was the rather ambitious statement which proclaimed: ‘foul or abusive language is not permitted in any part of the ground’
There was nothing of the bile unleashed on John Maughan in Roscommon, mind. Most of the ‘verbals’ from supporters were directed at Longford referee Derek Fahy, though I’ll hazard a guess that the odd bit of swearing might have been heard in the dressing rooms too.
“Any ref you see throwing the ball up four or five times doesn’t know what he’s doing,” one Galwayman suggested. “He’s afraid to make a decision.” And there were plenty of nods as a Mayo fan recommended changing the referee at half time. Nothing like a poor refereeing display to make supporters of opposing sides bond.
As the game neared its conclusion, all eyes were on the pitch – except two, those belonging to a young Mayo girl who gazed skywards. “Come on, snow!” she implored. Like her dreams of a day off school, hopes of a Mayo victory proved premature.
