CRASH BALL
Trevor Watson
OVER the course of time, history will dictate whether Eddie O’Sullivan’s tenure as Irish head coach was a success or failure.
Personally, I believe it was a little of both. The first Triple Crown win was a monumental achievement, as was the second. But failure to build on that success, and failure at the World Cups with the greatest wealth of talent at his disposal moreso than any Irish coach in history may tip the scales in the balance of negativity.
So, as Tony Ward said last week, “The King is dead, long live the King”. Who will be his successor? A number of high profile and very successful coaches have already turned down the job such as Jake Whyte (this writer’s personal favourite candidate) and Pat Howard.
So where to now for the prawn sandwich chomping blazers at Lansdowne Road? Well, in the spirit of the Bank Holiday weekend, Crash Ball offers a few tongue-in-cheek suggestions which may help the alickadoos and aficionados who make the all-important decisions. Here is a list of possible options for the vacant Ireland head coaching job:
1 Paidi Ó Sé Once famously decked Joe McNally during the national anthem. What would he be likely to do during Ireland’s call?
Pros: Has been a very successful coach with Kerry in his native code of Gaelic football
Cons: would be likely to start at least three of the nephews in the Irish pack. Could very possibly refer to the Irish Fans as “f**king animals” – not sure if Philip Browne and co would appreciate that.
2 Ryle Nugent A VERY successful commentator with RTE Television.
Pros: Has an in-depth knowledge of the game. His player recognition is spot-on. Doesn’t have an annoying voice.
Cons: Has never coached anyone, ever. That may be problematic.
3 Billy Keane The most witty rugby writer that this country has ever produced.
Pros: Is from Kerry, where an inch is a mile and more importantly near Mick Galway country, Currow, which famously boasts more Lions per hectare than the Serengeti.
Cons: Is more likely to have the Irish team rolling around in laughter than rolling out set-plays off line-outs.
4 Bertie Ahern A GREAT leader who would get the most out of those under him. Mind you those under him got a lot out of him too when you look at the £30,000 he handed the ex…
Pros: Has a great love of sport, shows genuine leadership qualities, would be great with the media, has an uncanny ability to sidestep questions like his predecessor.
Cons: Would be very likely to mishandle IRFU funds. Probably doesn’t have a bank account so he would have to be paid weekly in cash.
5 Dustin The Turkey Another iconic figure with a great love of sport.
Pros: Is being given every other significant available role at the minute to represent the country so why not this too? Not unlike his predecessor, he’s a bit of a turkey.
Cons: He is a turkey.
FINALLY this week Crash Ball does the annual look back on the Six Nations to select the team of the tournament. It is guaranteed, of course, to have many armchair pundits sniggering into their tulip glasses of stout, saying that this writer knows nothing. But enough about the two brothers... Here goes…
Team of the tournament
15. Cedric Heymans
(France), 14. Vincent Clrec (France), 13 Tom Shanklin (Wales), 12. Gavin Henson (Wales), 11. Shane Williams (Wales), 10. Ronan O’Gara (Ireland), 9. Mike Phillips (Wales). 8. Sergio Parisse (Italy), 7. Martyn Williams (Wales), 6. Ryan Jones (Wales), 5 Nathan Hynes (Scotland), 4. Alun Wynn Jones (Wales), 3. Martin Castrogiovanni (Italy), 2. Dimitri Szarzewski (France), Gethin Jenkins (Wales). Subs: Ross Ford (Scotland), Andrew Sheridan (England), Lionel Nallet (France), Jason Whyte (Scotland), Mike Blair (Scotland), James Hook (Wales), Lee Byrne (Wales).
