BEWARE OF BURNOUT Multitasking perfectionists can take on too much and burn out.
Who takes care of Superwoman?
‘Superwoman syndrome’ and how to treat it
Mental Health
Jannah Walshe
You’re an employee, an employer, a mother, a wife, a friend, a teacher, a homemaker, a sister, a daughter, a co-worker, a fixer, a problem solver. You work, you mother, you take care, you exercise, you clean, you socialise, you do it all and try to stay looking good at the same time. It’s exhausting!
You may not fit into every category above but if you find yourself burning the candle at both ends, that you always seem to be in a hurry but yet not catching up with yourself, that there is not enough hours in the day, that everyone seems to depend on you for everything, then you still fit into the definition of a superwoman.
What is the definition of the modern day superwoman? It is a woman who performs all the duties typically associated with several different full-time roles, such as wage earner, graduate student, mother, wife, carer, etcetera, etcetera.
There are many problems with trying to be superwoman. Firstly, it is extremely difficult to stretch yourself so far. Secondly, you may find that although you’re getting a lot done, you still sense or worry that not everything is getting done properly. And thirdly you are quickly heading towards burnout in the process of trying to get it all right.
Where does superwoman syndrome stem from? I feel that it comes from all the choice that is available to women now. Choice is an extremely positive thing but it is just that, a choice. This means that we can choose which areas we want to excel in, or maybe pick and choose different aspects of these choices to fit into our lives.
However, for many women, all this choice has created high expectations. They feel they have to do it all, and do it all perfectly.
Modern day superwomen need to recognise when they are teetering on the edge of burnout. With only 24 hours in the day, it is not possible to be everything to everybody without there being a personal pay off. We all need to sleep, to rest, to lie down both physically and emotionally.
The superwoman syndrome encompasses a broad range of physical, psychological and interpersonal stress symptoms. These include irritability, inability to concentrate properly, memory problems, under or over eating, emotional outbursts, lacking a sense of humour, muscle tension, sleep disturbances, racing thoughts, sweating when not physically active, shortness of breath, irritable bowel syndrome and uneasiness in the stomach.
What to do
If you recognise yourself in any of the above, do you know what needs to happen to reverse this before the impact on yourself is too great?
The first thing to disappear with superwoman syndrome is ‘me time’ – and this is the first thing that needs to come back.
This may seem an impossible task with time already at a premium, but by ensuring that you find time to dedicate to yourself, every other area of your life will benefit.
Once you have committed to finding that time for yourself, the next thing that needs to happen is letting go of perfectionism.
This is easier said than done, but it is critical for your health to learn to leave some things undone while you attend to your own well being. The next step is to get help, whether its paid help, help from friends or family or getting all the family doing their part towards keeping the home going. Don’t carry all of the load by yourself.
Finally, recognise when you feel guilty for pampering yourself and then let that guilt go. Allow yourself to indulge regularly in things that you enjoy, be it having a relaxing bath, getting a massage or a hair cut, or joining a class that you love. Like they say in aircraft safety talks, take care of yourself before taking care of others.
You decide whether or not to stay on the treadmill that you have created. Ask yourself, is it worth it?
Jannah Walshe is a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Castlebar and Westport. A pre-accredited member of The Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, she can be contacted via www.jannahwalshe.ie or at 085 1372528.
