HOLDING AUDITIONS Tina Fey (left) and Steve Whitmire (who voiced Kermit the Frog) star in 'Muppets Most Wanted'.
Time to light the lights again
Cinema
Daniel Carey
MANY people of my generation have fond memories of the 1992 RTÉ special ‘Zig and Zag’s Christmas Crisis’, in which Zig was wrongly accused of stealing a 50ml bottle of ‘Scent of Man’ and a valuable clock.
David Harvey, the presenter of ‘Crimeline’ (the forerunner to today’s ‘Crimecall’), popped up with a cameo appearance. Having outlined the circumstances, Harvey announced: “The punishment for the crime is that the accused, Zig, will never get any toys from Santa ever again. That is – never, ever again. Not this year. Not the year after. Not even in 1994!” Then, every garda in the studio turned to the camera and shouted: “Never!”
Zig, whose only crime was to go for a glass of water after 8.30pm, is eventually exonerated when Postman Patrick (later to find fame as one half of Ballydung Manor duo Podge and Rodge) is revealed to be the real criminal.
At least he doesn’t end up in a Russian gulag, which is what happens to Kermit (Steve Whitmire) in ‘Muppets Most Wanted’, after the world’s most famous frog is mistaken for evil criminal amphibian Constantine, who takes his place. Together with Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), Constantine (Matt Vogel) uses the Muppets’ tour of Europe as cover for a series of heists in Berlin, Madrid, Dublin and London.
Most critics feel James Bobin’s latest movie doesn’t match the Muppets’ 2011 outing (which I missed), but it still provides decent entertainment.
I’m not quite sure when ‘muppet’ became a term of abuse in Ireland, though perhaps Roy Keane can be credited with popularising it. The fact that the gang can’t tell the difference between Kermit and Constantine despite the latter’s heavy Russian accent may do nothing to remove its relatively new association with the stupid, incompetent or idiotic.
Opening with an all-singing, all-dancing number that sends up the concept of a sequel, ‘Muppets Most Wanted’ cuts between Siberia (where Constantine is breaking out of prison) and the US, where Ricky Gervais prevails upon Kermit to head on tour to Europe.
The real long-suffering stage manager, Kermit, is accustomed to rejecting calls for outlandish requests, such as a muppet ladder, a magnetic bomb attractor, an indoor running of the bulls and a series of Celine Dion numbers by Miss Piggy. However, Constantine is happy for the show to go on in over-indulgent, shambolic mode.
The evil frog gets to put a new twist on some old Muppets lines, announcing: “It’s time to light the lads” before setting off an explosion, and later musing: “It’s not easy being mean.” He also loses no opportunity to remind Dominic of his junior status in their partnership, at one point delivering a catchy song to that effect.
Cameo appearances abound – Christoph Waltz, Saoirse Ronan, Salma Hayek and P Diddy all pop up. Tina Fey puts in a memorable turn as gulag warden Nadya, an expert in escape plans who develops a soft spot for Kermit. Ray Liotta plays a convict in said prison with a misguided interest in Boyz II Men. Ty Burrell is an Interpol agent whose European work habits enrage the FBI’s Sam Eagle, with whom he shares a 137-hour drive from Geneva to Madrid in a tiny car.
Hugh Bonneville features as an easily bribed Irish journalist, and part of the action takes place in the Irish National Bank (which, in a world without Anglo, apparently has something worth stealing). For the record, no money changed hands ahead of my verdict on ‘Muppets Most Wanted’.
It’s wistfully amusing rather than laugh-out-loud hilarious, but there’s still a lot to like here.
Rating 6 out of 10
