THE THREE STOOGES Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie and Mark Wahlberg star in ‘Pain & Gain’.
The idiocy of today offers some laughs
Cinema
Daniel Carey
THERE’S a scene towards the end of the Cohen brothers’ movie ‘Burn After Reading’ in which former CIA analyst Osbourne Cox (John Malkovich) discovers an intruder in the basement of his house. “You’re the guy from the gym,” he announces. Ted Treffon (Richard Jenkins) – who is indeed a gym manager – replies, with a straight face: “I’m not here representing Hardbodies.”
Cox, by now on a roll, continues: “Yes. I know very well what you represent. You represent the idiocy of today.” Teffon, still deadpan, responds: “I don’t represent that either.” Cox goes on to accuse Treffon of being part of a ‘league of morons’, whom he has been fighting his ‘whole life’, and kills him with a hatchet.
If any gym employees could fairly be said to represent ‘the idiocy of today’, they appear in Michael Bay’s new film ‘Pain & Gain’, which details the adventures of three spectacularly incompetent criminals in Miami. Styled as ‘an unbelievable true story’, the movie is an object lesson in the difference between ambition and reality. Not since Kevin ‘Don’t Call Me Stupid’ Kline’s character in ‘A Fish Called Wanda’ has an on-screen nitwit had such a ridiculously high opinion of himself.
It’s a strange beast, an uneasy blend of comedy and violence. But when it’s on song, it’s surprisingly entertaining, centring on the chemistry between the two leads, Mark Wahlberg and Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.
Wahlberg plays Daniel Lugo, a gym instructor who worships his body, idolises self-made heroes (Rocky, Scarface, people from ‘The Godfather’) and regards people who squander their gifts as unpatriotic. Inspired by motivational speaker Johnny Wu (Ken Jeong), he resolves to be a ‘doer’ and develops a plan to get rich quick.
He ropes in Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie), who needs money for an operation to deal with his impotence, and Paul Doyle (Johnson), an ex-con hard nut who’s found Jesus, to kidnap a rich client, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhob).
“Listen,” Lugo says in an effort to reassure his accomplice, “I’ve watched a lot of movies, Paul – I know what I’m doing.” It becomes clear that none of them knows what they’re doing, and their target is one of the world’s least likeable individuals. The script (written by Christopher Markus, Stephen McFeely and Pete Collins) isn’t bad, and there’s some decent laughs in the first hour.
The kidnapping – meant to be a ‘snatch and grab’ operation – ends up as a protracted 30-day affair. “Jesus Christ has blessed me with many gifts,” Doyle reveals. “One of them is knocking people the f*** out!” He attempts to get Victor to convert from Judaism to Christianity, and the victim warns: “When I get to heaven, I’m gonna tell Jesus what you did.”
The light-hearted tone actually works for much of the film, and Ed Harris brings a jaundiced eye to the private detective who looks into the case, which the police show no interest in pursuing. Paul’s appearance high on cocaine in a high-storey Miami hotel room will remind Irish audiences of Ben Dunne’s escapades.
As the violence becomes more extreme, however, the jocular tone begins to grate. Laughing at the barbecuing of human hands may be a step too far for many people. Female characters are certainly not director Bay’s strong point, and most of those in ‘Pain & Gain’ are promiscuous or obese.
Bay has been described as ‘depressingly successful’, but ‘Pain & Gain’ is his best film since ‘The Rock’ in 1996. Considering his work includes ‘Pearl Harbor’ and the ‘Transformers’ trilogy, that’s not saying much. But still, we should be grateful for small mercies.
Rating 6 out of 10
